Today is one of those days that makes me want to return my 'parent card' and just go back to being 'child free Sarah' who has all the time in the world to do whatever she damn well pleases. Perhaps this is somewhat influenced by having been up since 1 AM with my child who is either choosing to explore the extreme sport of sleep deprivation or getting a tooth. Perhaps it is also influenced by the 20 inches of snow we got this week that has entrapped me with said child for 4 out of 5 days.
Last July was the last time I was home alone for a solo week of parenting. These past few days have made me eternally grateful for my job. I am not, under any circumstances, meant to be a stay at home mom - at least not to a child age 15 months or younger. Especially one who has just dropped to taking only one nap a day, but really still needs two.
Its funny, actually, because I know I do a good job of being home with her. We sing, we dance, we read books, we run around, we bang on the piano, we play with tupperware, we make paperbag puppets. But, I don't enjoy it. I find myself feeling so resentful that I don't get to do anything that I want to do and also feel as though nothing has gotten done (a whole 'nother topic for a whole 'nother post as to why we are so enculturated to be do-ers yet don't see raising a human being as satisfactory 'doing'). That I can't just freaking sit down for 10 minutes or eat lunch when I want to, and not have someone scavenge off my plate while she throws what's on her tray to the floor, or the wall or take a shower without someone yanking the curtain back, thrusting her head in, thus soaking her upper body and shouting "HI" at the top of her GD lungs.
My mom came to visit today which is the only thing that saved the week for me. I had company that could speak in complete sentences, appreciated with a verbal recognition the pasta and bean soup I made and did not, at any time, shit her pants.
I feel small saying all this out loud on the interwebs, because my little one is such a delightful human being. She is generally so cheerful and fun and outgoing. Outside of being exhausted which makes her all meltdowny at the end of the day, she doesn't fuss or cry. She is getting very verbal and loves to try out new words - today's were "achoo" and "arf". Those are frequently followed up with a sentence that makes you want to reply 'meckaleckahimeckahineyho' because that's totally the way what she just said sounds like.
I get that she's an easy kid, but this experience still, often, pushes me to the limit. That's the reality. Parenting is hard. Some days are much better than others. This wasn't one of them. I'm fearful for tonight as I put her down at 6:25 and she's already been up crying twice.
This too shall pass and I hope it does soon. Otherwise this membership card is going back in the mail.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Arizona
The state has been on my mind, much like the rest of the country, I imagine.
Let me be clear, I do not watch the news. Many years ago I became tired of the incessant images of violence and death that pervade the evening news. Instead, I read it, mostly now on my iphone courtesy of the npr app and the boston.com app and read it sparingly. Well, now, my news sometimes comes from Facebook when people post articles that I find interesting and choose to read (like that one about being a Chinese mother WTH?). All of that is to say that I don't know intimate details of what happened because I don't watch CNN obsessively, or even watch the Today show with its considerable morning fluff mixed in with hard news.
All that caveat aside, what I've read about the Arizona shooting is that the incident has been 'politicized'. Everyone seems content to find blame for what happened in politics. There was an article about how Sarah Palin put a crosshairs on Giffords' location a while ago and people were connecting that with this man's impetus to shoot. Clearly, that was a stupid thing to do on Palin's part (surprise, surprise), but I don't know that is the reason why the event came to pass. I'm sure there's other rhetoric around the political-ness of the shooting, but I don't care to research it.
It seems to me it came to pass because a mentally ill person didn't get the help he needed and was instead walking around in a society in which he could not function. There is such a stigma that still exists about mental illness in this world and that strikes me as strange when you think about how many people deal with it at one time or another. (What a mentally ill man was doing with a gun is another kettle of fish as well). You could look at these issues as political, but I think the larger society can take some ownership here about what ideals we promote and all that.
As most people reading this know, my father committed suicide, now almost 11 years ago. As an adult I always thought of him as a 'glass half full' kind of guy, but I never thought he was suicidal - though his own father had also committed suicide. His action was taken after his second wife asked for a divorce and the reality of his life pushed him into a bad place - his therapist also put him on Prozac which had the opposite effect on him, I'm told by my uncle. The reality is, his violent act could well have been enacted on someone else (wife #2 most likely), but instead he turned it on himself.
Could this young man have made a similar choice? Did he go there that day intending to die himself? How long had he slipped through the cracks and not received treatment for his issues? What was going on in his world? Maybe he blamed politics for why he needed to do what he did. I don't know.
I'm somewhat curious to see what the defense will bring to trial. I don't agree with the insanity plea in murder cases - I do not think a sane person commits murder so as far as I'm concerned it should be taken off the table as a plea option.
The bottom line for me is when I read about these stories and think in a way that isn't political, I find I have compassion all the way around and wish a very public incident like this could open up a much needed dialogue in our world about mental illness and how we deal with it.
Let me be clear, I do not watch the news. Many years ago I became tired of the incessant images of violence and death that pervade the evening news. Instead, I read it, mostly now on my iphone courtesy of the npr app and the boston.com app and read it sparingly. Well, now, my news sometimes comes from Facebook when people post articles that I find interesting and choose to read (like that one about being a Chinese mother WTH?). All of that is to say that I don't know intimate details of what happened because I don't watch CNN obsessively, or even watch the Today show with its considerable morning fluff mixed in with hard news.
All that caveat aside, what I've read about the Arizona shooting is that the incident has been 'politicized'. Everyone seems content to find blame for what happened in politics. There was an article about how Sarah Palin put a crosshairs on Giffords' location a while ago and people were connecting that with this man's impetus to shoot. Clearly, that was a stupid thing to do on Palin's part (surprise, surprise), but I don't know that is the reason why the event came to pass. I'm sure there's other rhetoric around the political-ness of the shooting, but I don't care to research it.
It seems to me it came to pass because a mentally ill person didn't get the help he needed and was instead walking around in a society in which he could not function. There is such a stigma that still exists about mental illness in this world and that strikes me as strange when you think about how many people deal with it at one time or another. (What a mentally ill man was doing with a gun is another kettle of fish as well). You could look at these issues as political, but I think the larger society can take some ownership here about what ideals we promote and all that.
As most people reading this know, my father committed suicide, now almost 11 years ago. As an adult I always thought of him as a 'glass half full' kind of guy, but I never thought he was suicidal - though his own father had also committed suicide. His action was taken after his second wife asked for a divorce and the reality of his life pushed him into a bad place - his therapist also put him on Prozac which had the opposite effect on him, I'm told by my uncle. The reality is, his violent act could well have been enacted on someone else (wife #2 most likely), but instead he turned it on himself.
Could this young man have made a similar choice? Did he go there that day intending to die himself? How long had he slipped through the cracks and not received treatment for his issues? What was going on in his world? Maybe he blamed politics for why he needed to do what he did. I don't know.
I'm somewhat curious to see what the defense will bring to trial. I don't agree with the insanity plea in murder cases - I do not think a sane person commits murder so as far as I'm concerned it should be taken off the table as a plea option.
The bottom line for me is when I read about these stories and think in a way that isn't political, I find I have compassion all the way around and wish a very public incident like this could open up a much needed dialogue in our world about mental illness and how we deal with it.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
What are you waiting for?
This morning I had a small moment of epiphany.
While watching Biggest Loser I heard a contestant say "I just know if I'm given the chance, I can do this". I looked at her and realized that we all hold ourselves back from doing things because we are waiting for someone or something else to give us permission to change. In her case, she could, at any time, have chosen to change her eating habits and go to a gym, but something held her back. Now, here she is on the Biggest Loser and she considers this her chance to make a change.
What is something in your life that you want to change? Can you name it and then list all the reasons why you 'can't' do it?
I can. I really want to be singing again. My reasons why I don't are the following:
I can't practice every day.
We are trying to keep expenses down so I can't take a lesson every week and work with an accompanist.
I'm frequently exhausted from the Shorty's unpredictable sleeping.
I have reflux often from having to eat dinner so late.
When I'm home I feel as though my free time should be spent doing things around the house like cleaning, organizing or running errands.
Well, if I keep up that thought process I'm never, never going to sing again. That doesn't really solve the problem does it? If I keep thinking that way, I'm waiting for someone to show up and say, okay I'll be your night nurse so you can sleep, I'll clean your house for you, I'll be here on the days you are home with your child to give you an hour of time to be able to practice and I'll give you a chunk of money that is exempt from regular expenses to spend on your training. Silly.
There are some negotiables in there. The cleaning can wait or be done slightly less often. We, in fact, have plenty of money for me to use to do lessons, but it will have to come from savings (and, in the long run, if I sing more now I may go back to getting some paid singing gigs to underwrite the cost of my professional development).
The non-neogtiables have to do with the kiddo. Someday she will be a more consistent sleeper, but right now, it seems as though a few days after we enter a good stretch, she gets a cold, a tooth, doesn't nap well and therefore doesn't sleep well. The reality is I've functioned ok while being really tired and if I'm too tired, I should nap rather than practice. While I'm home with her, it is hard to practice. She's on the move, but I could try 10 minutes of vocalizing while she buzzes around and then spend some time singing songs with her so I'm using my voice.
I believe firmly in working hard to be good at something, but I can sing and perform even if I'm not practicing every day. I bet, as I get close to a performance, I could call on my network to take the Shorty so I could have more time to prepare.
Intellectually I get ALL of the above. So what is it that is holding me back? I gotta contemplate that one, but I'm tired of waiting.
While watching Biggest Loser I heard a contestant say "I just know if I'm given the chance, I can do this". I looked at her and realized that we all hold ourselves back from doing things because we are waiting for someone or something else to give us permission to change. In her case, she could, at any time, have chosen to change her eating habits and go to a gym, but something held her back. Now, here she is on the Biggest Loser and she considers this her chance to make a change.
What is something in your life that you want to change? Can you name it and then list all the reasons why you 'can't' do it?
I can. I really want to be singing again. My reasons why I don't are the following:
I can't practice every day.
We are trying to keep expenses down so I can't take a lesson every week and work with an accompanist.
I'm frequently exhausted from the Shorty's unpredictable sleeping.
I have reflux often from having to eat dinner so late.
When I'm home I feel as though my free time should be spent doing things around the house like cleaning, organizing or running errands.
Well, if I keep up that thought process I'm never, never going to sing again. That doesn't really solve the problem does it? If I keep thinking that way, I'm waiting for someone to show up and say, okay I'll be your night nurse so you can sleep, I'll clean your house for you, I'll be here on the days you are home with your child to give you an hour of time to be able to practice and I'll give you a chunk of money that is exempt from regular expenses to spend on your training. Silly.
There are some negotiables in there. The cleaning can wait or be done slightly less often. We, in fact, have plenty of money for me to use to do lessons, but it will have to come from savings (and, in the long run, if I sing more now I may go back to getting some paid singing gigs to underwrite the cost of my professional development).
The non-neogtiables have to do with the kiddo. Someday she will be a more consistent sleeper, but right now, it seems as though a few days after we enter a good stretch, she gets a cold, a tooth, doesn't nap well and therefore doesn't sleep well. The reality is I've functioned ok while being really tired and if I'm too tired, I should nap rather than practice. While I'm home with her, it is hard to practice. She's on the move, but I could try 10 minutes of vocalizing while she buzzes around and then spend some time singing songs with her so I'm using my voice.
I believe firmly in working hard to be good at something, but I can sing and perform even if I'm not practicing every day. I bet, as I get close to a performance, I could call on my network to take the Shorty so I could have more time to prepare.
Intellectually I get ALL of the above. So what is it that is holding me back? I gotta contemplate that one, but I'm tired of waiting.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Keeping up with the Shorty
Whew. This kid runs now. I can't tell you how many photos I have that show a small, purple/pinkish blur as the whirling dervish trucks along. Her new favorite thing is to look up brightly when she wipes out and shout "Woah". Woah indeed girlfriend. 45 minutes at the gym ain't got nothing on spending a day with you.
We've just returned from time away at the Maine house. I wouldn't say travel with a small kid is relaxing, but it is a change of scene. The only problem with this scene is it isn't remotely babyproofed. There are some plug covers, but no gate for the stairs, a landing at the top with rails far enough apart that a tiny little 14 month old whirling dervish COULD squeeze through and topple 20 feet, 5 bathrooms with toilets with no locks, a Gigundous stone hearth and glass topped coffee table, not to mention a 4 year old in residence with an obsession for Barbie and all the mini parts that go with. You get my drift. I don't think I sat down while we were there until after she was in bed each night. I must have climbed those stairs with her 900 times a day. The lure of Grandma's tub that has steps up to it was also too much for this kiddo.
Regardless we had a good time. Didn't sleep a whole lot, but whatever. Being in a big house was nice as it allowed her to run out her energy. It makes me hope for either a short or warm winter where we can spend time outside. My rule last year was as long as it was above freezing we went out. Every day. Yesterday was 33 so we bundled up and trekked to the library where she could run through the stacks and play with the stuffed animals and I could get some exercise by walking.
I love all the advances she has made physically and verbally. Her little vocabulary seems to grow daily and now she can almost climb up onto the coffee table unassisted (um, that's, um, great...). She'll take her fork and stab at food, often with success and gleefully put it in her mouth. However, do not darken her little fingers with cream cheese or beware the hollering until it is wiped off.
Next week we're starting a music class that I'm hoping she'll love. There's groove in this girl and it is super fun to see. No matter what's going on, if she hears a beat she'll stop and get her dance on. It is, hands down, one of the most hilarious things I've ever witnessed.
As we march closer to two, I'm hoping the "NO" stays good natured and the spirit continues to grow in a cheerful way.
For now though, Momma needs a nap.
We've just returned from time away at the Maine house. I wouldn't say travel with a small kid is relaxing, but it is a change of scene. The only problem with this scene is it isn't remotely babyproofed. There are some plug covers, but no gate for the stairs, a landing at the top with rails far enough apart that a tiny little 14 month old whirling dervish COULD squeeze through and topple 20 feet, 5 bathrooms with toilets with no locks, a Gigundous stone hearth and glass topped coffee table, not to mention a 4 year old in residence with an obsession for Barbie and all the mini parts that go with. You get my drift. I don't think I sat down while we were there until after she was in bed each night. I must have climbed those stairs with her 900 times a day. The lure of Grandma's tub that has steps up to it was also too much for this kiddo.
Regardless we had a good time. Didn't sleep a whole lot, but whatever. Being in a big house was nice as it allowed her to run out her energy. It makes me hope for either a short or warm winter where we can spend time outside. My rule last year was as long as it was above freezing we went out. Every day. Yesterday was 33 so we bundled up and trekked to the library where she could run through the stacks and play with the stuffed animals and I could get some exercise by walking.
I love all the advances she has made physically and verbally. Her little vocabulary seems to grow daily and now she can almost climb up onto the coffee table unassisted (um, that's, um, great...). She'll take her fork and stab at food, often with success and gleefully put it in her mouth. However, do not darken her little fingers with cream cheese or beware the hollering until it is wiped off.
Next week we're starting a music class that I'm hoping she'll love. There's groove in this girl and it is super fun to see. No matter what's going on, if she hears a beat she'll stop and get her dance on. It is, hands down, one of the most hilarious things I've ever witnessed.
As we march closer to two, I'm hoping the "NO" stays good natured and the spirit continues to grow in a cheerful way.
For now though, Momma needs a nap.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Well that kinda sucked.
It is the end of the long weekend in the Wavis household and we have survived. Seriously. We survived. What was going to be a lovely long weekend of family time, spent partly in MA, partly in ME, with TWO GRANDMOTHERS to help with the child, was spent primarily in confinement in Arlington.
Let me back up. Partway through Thanksgiving dinner, the hubs turned to me and said "I don't feel so good" Cue the vomiting. Actually, we made it home before it began, but it was like nothing I have ever heard and I'm pretty sure, like nothing he'd ever experienced. Generally the stomach flu isn't such a big deal. You feel like ass for 24 hours and then rebound. However, going into this as tired and drained as he was and as dehydrated as he was made allllllllll the difference.
A few moments after the puke fest ended, the muscle cramps set in. In his back. Like, all over his back, causing not quiet yelling to emit from his mouth. Ultimately, he requested to go to the ER. Also fine, but what do you do with a 1 year old who is sleeping peacefully in the other room? I called Grandma and she and Grandpa hauled on over to stay here. Then, I called 911. There was no way this man was going to get into an upright position and ride in a car. Truth be told, I did not want to clean puke outta my car either.
So, he got a ride in a super cool ambulance over to Mt. Auburn where we shacked up in the ER from 11pm to 5am. 3 bags of saline and 2 kinds of nausea medicine later, we returned home. The hubs went to bed and I lay down for 15 minutes before the Shorty got up for the day.
Let me say that again. I LAY DOWN FOR 15 MINUTES BEFORE THE SHORTY GOT UP FOR THE DAY. Yes, I got no sleep on Thanksgiving night. The grandparents had stayed up until 3 thinking we might be back, so they were pooped and not in a position to really come back and do anything. Fortunately, my former sister by marriage came in the afternoon to take the Shorty for 2 hours and let me get some rest. And, my mother-in-law very, very, very kindly, canceled her plans to go to ME and came by every day of the weekend to take the Shorty for some length of time so we could either rest or go do something.
My tank was feeling pretty empty going into this holiday. I hadn't really wanted to go away in part due to the work of getting ready to go, but also knowing it was going to be less than fabulous sleep for the little one and by extension me. Staying in a non-babyproofed house was also not going to lend itself to my being relaxed. However, I would have taken that over this.
So, here we are at Tuesday and back to real life. It is a blessing that only one of us got this bug and he is more or less back on his feet. There are two more weeks of teaching in the semester and then I'll have a break. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to having some days of being home while the Shorty is at daycare. I can get some Christmas shopping done, we can have a cleaner, more organized home, dinners can be made at a decent hour because I'll have time to prep in advance. I might even, GASP, take a nap once in a while. It'll only last for a month or so, but I'll take it.
I like to give thanks for things on Thanksgiving and this year, I gave thanks for survival. Never thought about that one before, but it feels like a gift to have made it through the weekend.
Let me back up. Partway through Thanksgiving dinner, the hubs turned to me and said "I don't feel so good" Cue the vomiting. Actually, we made it home before it began, but it was like nothing I have ever heard and I'm pretty sure, like nothing he'd ever experienced. Generally the stomach flu isn't such a big deal. You feel like ass for 24 hours and then rebound. However, going into this as tired and drained as he was and as dehydrated as he was made allllllllll the difference.
A few moments after the puke fest ended, the muscle cramps set in. In his back. Like, all over his back, causing not quiet yelling to emit from his mouth. Ultimately, he requested to go to the ER. Also fine, but what do you do with a 1 year old who is sleeping peacefully in the other room? I called Grandma and she and Grandpa hauled on over to stay here. Then, I called 911. There was no way this man was going to get into an upright position and ride in a car. Truth be told, I did not want to clean puke outta my car either.
So, he got a ride in a super cool ambulance over to Mt. Auburn where we shacked up in the ER from 11pm to 5am. 3 bags of saline and 2 kinds of nausea medicine later, we returned home. The hubs went to bed and I lay down for 15 minutes before the Shorty got up for the day.
Let me say that again. I LAY DOWN FOR 15 MINUTES BEFORE THE SHORTY GOT UP FOR THE DAY. Yes, I got no sleep on Thanksgiving night. The grandparents had stayed up until 3 thinking we might be back, so they were pooped and not in a position to really come back and do anything. Fortunately, my former sister by marriage came in the afternoon to take the Shorty for 2 hours and let me get some rest. And, my mother-in-law very, very, very kindly, canceled her plans to go to ME and came by every day of the weekend to take the Shorty for some length of time so we could either rest or go do something.
My tank was feeling pretty empty going into this holiday. I hadn't really wanted to go away in part due to the work of getting ready to go, but also knowing it was going to be less than fabulous sleep for the little one and by extension me. Staying in a non-babyproofed house was also not going to lend itself to my being relaxed. However, I would have taken that over this.
So, here we are at Tuesday and back to real life. It is a blessing that only one of us got this bug and he is more or less back on his feet. There are two more weeks of teaching in the semester and then I'll have a break. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to having some days of being home while the Shorty is at daycare. I can get some Christmas shopping done, we can have a cleaner, more organized home, dinners can be made at a decent hour because I'll have time to prep in advance. I might even, GASP, take a nap once in a while. It'll only last for a month or so, but I'll take it.
I like to give thanks for things on Thanksgiving and this year, I gave thanks for survival. Never thought about that one before, but it feels like a gift to have made it through the weekend.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Round Two
For the second weekend in a row we went to a town where Ben is interviewing to scope things out, have lunch with the search committee and just get a feel for things.
What a difference this was from last weekend. It is much closer (only 40 minutes - albeit in no traffic early on a Saturday morning) than last weekend. There is an actual town with many people - 13,000 as opposed to 5,000 last weekend. There are stores and restaurants and all that located in an area sort of like the rte 9 strip, but then you leave that and enter into this lovely town where there's space between the houses and there were people out in their yards with their kids. There's a new high school being built, there are lots of horse farms and walking trails. The beach is 2 towns over. There's a fabulous Y with tennis courts and a pool.
This church also has a parsonage where we'd have to live, but again, soooo different. I totally fell in love with this house even though it will never be mine in any way. Built in the 1850's it has all kinds of charm, but has been kept updated. Lots of nice space, good storage, 4 bedrooms, 2 and a half baths, a kitchen I could totally live with in a very happy way a nice deck and backyard as well as a 2 car attached garage. I could see having parties here and having our kiddos running around all very happily.
All that said, there are still drawbacks. It is far enough from where we are that I feel somewhat fearful to leave. The house isn't in a neighborhood so easily meeting some people isn't there. My close friends are in the city and while I don't see them often, I can just call them up and meet somewhere easily. My professional life is here and my commute would become pretty long. In general, the time our family has together will alter significantly if Ben were to go back into the ministry. I don't relish not having family weekends and not seeing each other every night. We also wouldn't be buying something which is what we really want to do - having your first mortgage in your 50's is not all that appealing, frankly. I suppose we could buy either an investment property now or a retirement home, but that seems a bit more on the complicated side.
So many decisions and so much information to ingest as all of this moves forward along with a few other professional irons he has in the fire. I'm anxious to begin making my own professional changes and hope, hope, hope, we'll know something soon.
What a difference this was from last weekend. It is much closer (only 40 minutes - albeit in no traffic early on a Saturday morning) than last weekend. There is an actual town with many people - 13,000 as opposed to 5,000 last weekend. There are stores and restaurants and all that located in an area sort of like the rte 9 strip, but then you leave that and enter into this lovely town where there's space between the houses and there were people out in their yards with their kids. There's a new high school being built, there are lots of horse farms and walking trails. The beach is 2 towns over. There's a fabulous Y with tennis courts and a pool.
This church also has a parsonage where we'd have to live, but again, soooo different. I totally fell in love with this house even though it will never be mine in any way. Built in the 1850's it has all kinds of charm, but has been kept updated. Lots of nice space, good storage, 4 bedrooms, 2 and a half baths, a kitchen I could totally live with in a very happy way a nice deck and backyard as well as a 2 car attached garage. I could see having parties here and having our kiddos running around all very happily.
All that said, there are still drawbacks. It is far enough from where we are that I feel somewhat fearful to leave. The house isn't in a neighborhood so easily meeting some people isn't there. My close friends are in the city and while I don't see them often, I can just call them up and meet somewhere easily. My professional life is here and my commute would become pretty long. In general, the time our family has together will alter significantly if Ben were to go back into the ministry. I don't relish not having family weekends and not seeing each other every night. We also wouldn't be buying something which is what we really want to do - having your first mortgage in your 50's is not all that appealing, frankly. I suppose we could buy either an investment property now or a retirement home, but that seems a bit more on the complicated side.
So many decisions and so much information to ingest as all of this moves forward along with a few other professional irons he has in the fire. I'm anxious to begin making my own professional changes and hope, hope, hope, we'll know something soon.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Learning
Yesterday was a big day. We went to one of the towns where Ben has been interviewing for a ministry position for him to do a second interview, me to be taken on a tour (and I know I was being scoped out for my role as his wife) and a lunch. It was enlightening. I think we both went in thinking, okay, this is it for us, we'll love it and want to move here.
The more the day went on, the less it seemed that way to me. This place is remote. If we wanted a summer home, it would be fantastic. Quiet, removed, on the water and really, really nice. But, SMALL. And when you think about spending your years somewhere, that small is not what I want. In our lives outside work we love to try new restaurants, go to shows, hear live music, visit museums. There is none of that there. There isn't even a funky coffee shop in the center of town. There's no Trader Joes or Whole Foods closer than 45 minutes away. The parsonage was by no means our dream home. What I would do for work is very up in the air. I was told by the woman who drove me around that most moms are stay-at-home. That isn't what I want to be and I think that it could be hard to find a group of women I relate to. The school system is good which is great for Ella, but there is nothing outside of the school system to give her additional opportunities. I want her to be in a more diverse area where she can learn about the world.
So, it was a long, 7 hour day of being on and smiling and talking, but it was worth it as we left with a decision for ourselves and more knowledge about the kind of place we want to be to settle down. There are two more spots on the horizon and we'll visit one next weekend. Maybe one of them will be it, but if not, I know the right thing will come along and show itself to us. I think we are both feeling ready to make final decisions on this stuff so hopefully that means the Universe is going to cooperate and show us the final deal soon!
The more the day went on, the less it seemed that way to me. This place is remote. If we wanted a summer home, it would be fantastic. Quiet, removed, on the water and really, really nice. But, SMALL. And when you think about spending your years somewhere, that small is not what I want. In our lives outside work we love to try new restaurants, go to shows, hear live music, visit museums. There is none of that there. There isn't even a funky coffee shop in the center of town. There's no Trader Joes or Whole Foods closer than 45 minutes away. The parsonage was by no means our dream home. What I would do for work is very up in the air. I was told by the woman who drove me around that most moms are stay-at-home. That isn't what I want to be and I think that it could be hard to find a group of women I relate to. The school system is good which is great for Ella, but there is nothing outside of the school system to give her additional opportunities. I want her to be in a more diverse area where she can learn about the world.
So, it was a long, 7 hour day of being on and smiling and talking, but it was worth it as we left with a decision for ourselves and more knowledge about the kind of place we want to be to settle down. There are two more spots on the horizon and we'll visit one next weekend. Maybe one of them will be it, but if not, I know the right thing will come along and show itself to us. I think we are both feeling ready to make final decisions on this stuff so hopefully that means the Universe is going to cooperate and show us the final deal soon!
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