One Wish

If I had one wish for my daughter it would be that she never sprouts facial hair.

I know our culture is a bit obsessed with hair removal, but on the topic of facial hair I am so right there. I'm enculturated. I believe. I agree. And I admit I don't totally get it, but am willing to play along nicely.

Standard eyebrow waxes aside, there is something that transpires as one ages. It is the phenomenon of finding a 3 foot long whisker somewhere in your facial region, that you are sure wasn't there yesterday and don't understand how it didn't poke your train seatmate in the eye, blinding them. The phenomenon must be linked to the hormonal transitions a woman's body goes through as she ages. Though menopause isn't likely to hit until you are in your 50's the decline of estrogen is a slow, steady one. There must also be an element of genetics at play. Some people are just born more fuzzy than others. As a result of all this I don't know a woman over the age of 30 who hasn't invested in a good pair of tweezers and spent some time every morning surveying the landscape to see what may have grown overnight. God forbid you skip a day, because that's the day you'll find it in the middle of some important meeting and suddenly feel like there's a spotlight on your chin.

I wish for my daughter to not have to deal with all that. Sadly, though, given her genetics, she probably will. Maybe by the time she's 35 they'll have advanced laser removal and you will be able to just walk in and zap whatever you want, not discover it in the middle of the day and wonder how long it has been there and no one has told you.

If you just read this and said 'oh gross' it is because YOU AREN'T OLD ENOUGH. Or you are descended from some tribe of hairless individuals and I don't want to be your friend anymore.