It is easy to get caught in a loop that seems to have no exit. I feel that way about my work life right now.
In the fall I'd like to work 4 days a week earning enough money to pay for daycare and bring money in over and above that.
Right now voice teaching at Harvard is my only concrete thing and that has some significant cracks. My former thriving studio of 22 students shrank down to 14 this term and 6 of those just graduated. There are some other issues in the form of space to teach. I have space for full days Weds and Thurs and a partial day on Tuesday, but nothing on Monday. The teaching is also only for 20 weeks of the year. Not exactly a full year's work.
Now, I could conceivably find another school to teach at for 2 days of the week and just try to fill two days at Harvard. However, applying for a voice teaching position means I need 4-5 songs prepared to sing as part of the interview. The obstacles here are: I still have reflux and not much of a voice. Practice time is also non-existent in my daily life because I am with Ella all day. I'd hoped to do some voice lessons this summer, but my voice teacher is about to have vocal surgery and isn't sure when she'll be back to teaching. I need to get my voice looked at but have to make an appt. and then find a sitter - which has thus far not worked so well for things like the dentist where I've had to cancel and reschedule several times just so I can go. If I need to do speech therapy to get back on track how do I find a way to get there at least once a week? Given all that how do I get my voice back?
Right now daycare centers are signing up for fall 2010. I'm in the position of needing to commit to daycare which will range in cost from $1200-$1600 a month without knowing that I have guaranteed income to at least pay for it let alone bring the over and above in. So how do I sign up for daycare?
Despite spending a lot of time each day contemplating (worrying, fretting, whatever you want to call it) about my work life, I can't find a way out to make things work. Are these obstacles that can be overcome or do I throw in the towel on the world of singing and voice teaching and look for a regular 9-5 desk job? I hate the idea of walking away from something that I'm highly trained in and pretty good at but what's a girl to do?
Add in to all of this my frequent somewhat desperate desire to feel like myself again in some part of my life. I don't know what piece comes first and go in circles rather than stepping off the continuous loop to take a step forward.
No comments:
Post a Comment