Whining for a moment

Here's my whiny moment: I CANNOT get rid of the last 8 pounds of pregnancy weight. I've upped my exercise and try to go 4-5 days a week and the scale does not budge. Instead it dips a few pounds, goes back up and so on.

Over the past 6 months I've tried to adopt a more laid back attitude about the weight loss, telling myself, it'll come off in time etc. etc. But, here we are entering the summer season where I have, count 'em, ZERO items of summer clothing that fit on my bottom half. As it is, I have 2 pairs of pants and one pair of jeans that currently fit me and they are now a bit big because I bought them 5 pounds ago. I have some t-shirts from early pregnancy that I can wear, but I'm still nursing a bit so my upper half is also not its regular size (and, Oh. My. God. the sag!!).

Let me be clear, I do not think I am obese. I am well aware that I am within the normal weight range for someone who is my height. The issue is I have a freakin' closet full of clothes that I like and cannot wear. If we were completely wealthy I'd probably just say screw it and go buy a wardrobe of clothes for this size and then I'd just have them. But, I'm not, and don't feel like we have a ton of extra right now for me to invest in clothes. It seems most expedient to just lose the weight, but my body is not cooperating (or isn't yet).

While I know I'm not fat, I also know not being able to fit into my regular clothes makes me feel bad about myself. I don't feel particularly attractive in general right now, what with the constant bags under my eyes, bits of spit up etc on me in random spots (cuff of my pants right now from a little projectile spit up while E was in my lap), dull skin. When I so much as mention any of this to the hubs I get a response in his annoyed voice about how I look better than most women who haven't had babies etc. Because he seems to get annoyed with me whenever I bring it up, I tend to keep it to myself, but once in a while, I spill and talk about it. It never has a good ending.

Today I went and bought another tshirt, but I tried on pants and the shape of my lower half is just weird and places I used to purchase pants, have pants that don't currently work with my shape. So, back I go to do some working out and attempting to lose the remainder. Several people have also mentioned that your body holds onto a bit while you are nursing, so hopefully as this month winds down and Ella is switched over to bottle feeding some of the rest will come off (at least my boobs will shrink, right?).

Eeesh, if women have to go through pregnancy and childbirth, you'd think mother nature could reward us with bodies that just return to size quickly and easily in repayment for what we just made.