Who doesn't love a little vacation in their lives? We are fortunate to a have a free getaway in my in-laws second home on Kezar Lake in Maine. This summer as we conserve our finances a bit, we decided to take full advantage of the family friendly spot and spend two different weeks here.
This is our solo week here. It has been the most gorgeous weather. When we arrived temps were 78 in the day and 54 at night. That is weather I can get behind. If somewhere has weather like that year round, I'd move there. I'm a fan.
For the first weekend we were joined by the LaRowe's, some of Ben's friends from college and their twin 3 year old girls. We swam, we boated, the Shorty slept little and it was a blast. Once all children were down for the night, we indulged in some good grillin' and had some amazing meals - among them, Grilled Chicken and peaches with chipotle peach dressing and grilled pork chops with cherry relish - both recipes are on epicurious.com
We've done small trips, called 'spotitions in our family, each day now that we are here alone. One day we went into North Conway and shopped for The Shorty's fall wardrobe - buying her clothes is WAY more fun than buying them for myself. Plus, you can get like 9 outfits for $100. We also went to the local nature preserve for a walk in the woods and yesterday hauled ourselves over to Bethlehem, NH so Ben could see where I grew up. The trip across 302 was spectacular. We could see the top of Mt. Washington and all the other mountains around.
Today we are awaiting the arrival of my mom who, bless her heart, offered to come up to do a few days of childcare so we could have some time to ourselves. Really, what I think we both ought to do first is take a long nap, but I suspect we'll go hiking, for boatrides, kayaking, swimming, play tennis and just enjoy ourselves some child-free time.
No question, vacation with a 9 month old is a very different experience than vacation with just two adults, but I don't think we'd change a thing. Having this place to come to where she has her own room with a crib, a rocker and space to play and we can be in our own room makes everything do-able. We are grateful and we are blessed for this vacation!!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Tough
Yesterday I caught a few moments of MTV's show 'Teen Mom'. I saw a few episodes when pregnant and I was curious to see what has transpired for these girls since last year.
The show profiles 4 high school age girls who are pregnant and follows them through becoming new moms. Many of them now have children who are around the same age as the Shorty (according to when the show airs, I'm not sure what the delay from tape to air is).
As I watched I found myself having the same feeling I get when I read stories about infants and young children dying in horrible accidents or being diagnosed with cancer or whatever. It made me feel sick to my stomach. And that feeling was mostly in relation to the empathy I feel for the girls who are new moms.
I have a great marriage, a supportive family, my own place to live that is wonderful, a job I can earn good money at and it is STILL hard becoming a mom. I can't even fathom dealing with all this at age 17, 18, 19 when I'm still in high school, have a boyfriend who may or may not be present and supportive, parents who are probably not so in favor of me having a kid (and in one case, potentially heading off to jail) and no prospects for a job in the near future.
My heart just broke not only for the girls but also for their children as I wondered what kind of a life is ahead for them. I'm a big believer in children reflecting the kind of parents they have (anxious moms have more anxious children, laid back moms have more laid back kids etc.) You could see these little babies acting out and behaving in ways that have to be at least somewhat related to the world they experience around them.
All of that made me feeIt made me feel profoundly grateful for what I have in my marriage, my home, my extended family and my child. I know there are days that are hard for me and I'm not trying to discount anything that regular old grown ups go through in transitioning to parenthood, but this just put it all in perspective. I am able to create an environment in which the Shorty will thrive. I'm a pretty calm parent and I have a very calm baby.
The bottom line is I wanted to scoop them all up and hug them; talk with the moms and help them so they wouldn't feel like they were going through it alone and give the babies what they need in the way of structure and consistency so they can thrive.
No more of that show for me!!!
The show profiles 4 high school age girls who are pregnant and follows them through becoming new moms. Many of them now have children who are around the same age as the Shorty (according to when the show airs, I'm not sure what the delay from tape to air is).
As I watched I found myself having the same feeling I get when I read stories about infants and young children dying in horrible accidents or being diagnosed with cancer or whatever. It made me feel sick to my stomach. And that feeling was mostly in relation to the empathy I feel for the girls who are new moms.
I have a great marriage, a supportive family, my own place to live that is wonderful, a job I can earn good money at and it is STILL hard becoming a mom. I can't even fathom dealing with all this at age 17, 18, 19 when I'm still in high school, have a boyfriend who may or may not be present and supportive, parents who are probably not so in favor of me having a kid (and in one case, potentially heading off to jail) and no prospects for a job in the near future.
My heart just broke not only for the girls but also for their children as I wondered what kind of a life is ahead for them. I'm a big believer in children reflecting the kind of parents they have (anxious moms have more anxious children, laid back moms have more laid back kids etc.) You could see these little babies acting out and behaving in ways that have to be at least somewhat related to the world they experience around them.
All of that made me feeIt made me feel profoundly grateful for what I have in my marriage, my home, my extended family and my child. I know there are days that are hard for me and I'm not trying to discount anything that regular old grown ups go through in transitioning to parenthood, but this just put it all in perspective. I am able to create an environment in which the Shorty will thrive. I'm a pretty calm parent and I have a very calm baby.
The bottom line is I wanted to scoop them all up and hug them; talk with the moms and help them so they wouldn't feel like they were going through it alone and give the babies what they need in the way of structure and consistency so they can thrive.
No more of that show for me!!!
Friday, July 16, 2010
It must be me
What is it about me that I attract these working situations?
My last job, that I held for almost 7 years, came with a boss who was a disaster. He had zero interest in changing and making anything run better. The world was all about him and what was best for him. If I had a dollar for every time he tired to make me do a project that would put more money in his personal pocket...well, I'd have more than a handful of dollars now. There were issues in the program and I worked very hard to right them. We needed to brand the program and so I did. All our publications became unified, I had a logo designed, we got letterhead. We had a professional appearance. All for the good of the program. I wanted a boss who would meet with me weekly and be interested in what I had to bring and what I had to say. Instead I saw him once a semester and he was not interested in the least. Let's face it, he sucked.
Here I am, in my current consulting gig, working for a small non-profit foundation that wants to bring music in the form of a cappella to the school age populations who have had their music programs cut. I'm so all about that. Great idea, great cause. The program has been around for a few years, but it has floundered in a stop and start kind of way, working at some schools, not at others. It needs a review and a reflect phase before trying to build to understand what works and what doesn't. It needs a curriculum that teachers can use to teach urban youth about singing that will meet some of the standards set by the education world for teaching music. It needs an administrator who works more than 3 hours a week. It needs a guaranteed income source and budgeting talks that covers every possible expense that could be incurred. It needs a foundation that communicates and responds quickly.
Bottom line, it needs someone like me who can take in large amount of information, process it quickly and come up with a viable model to roll out and test. Every time I meet with the person in charge of this program's committee, it comes down to this: "we want 3 more schools and 3 more teachers by September". I don't think he sees the need to examine, reflect and learn from what has been past. He doesn't find a problem in sending college age students into an urban middle school to teach music with NO GUIDANCE. He fails to see value in looking at any one of the many music outreach programs in the Boston area to learn from their successes and failures before moving forward for this one.
They've contracted me for 60 hours of work. Do you know what I could do in 60 hours? More than hire 3 teachers and find 3 schools. But, that's what they want. I pushed back one more time this morning to see if they would go for me doing some work that might help this program in the long run, not just add more schools where teachers will fail and the program will falter after a year.
Sigh. What is it that I need to learn to keep from finding myself in these jobs?
My last job, that I held for almost 7 years, came with a boss who was a disaster. He had zero interest in changing and making anything run better. The world was all about him and what was best for him. If I had a dollar for every time he tired to make me do a project that would put more money in his personal pocket...well, I'd have more than a handful of dollars now. There were issues in the program and I worked very hard to right them. We needed to brand the program and so I did. All our publications became unified, I had a logo designed, we got letterhead. We had a professional appearance. All for the good of the program. I wanted a boss who would meet with me weekly and be interested in what I had to bring and what I had to say. Instead I saw him once a semester and he was not interested in the least. Let's face it, he sucked.
Here I am, in my current consulting gig, working for a small non-profit foundation that wants to bring music in the form of a cappella to the school age populations who have had their music programs cut. I'm so all about that. Great idea, great cause. The program has been around for a few years, but it has floundered in a stop and start kind of way, working at some schools, not at others. It needs a review and a reflect phase before trying to build to understand what works and what doesn't. It needs a curriculum that teachers can use to teach urban youth about singing that will meet some of the standards set by the education world for teaching music. It needs an administrator who works more than 3 hours a week. It needs a guaranteed income source and budgeting talks that covers every possible expense that could be incurred. It needs a foundation that communicates and responds quickly.
Bottom line, it needs someone like me who can take in large amount of information, process it quickly and come up with a viable model to roll out and test. Every time I meet with the person in charge of this program's committee, it comes down to this: "we want 3 more schools and 3 more teachers by September". I don't think he sees the need to examine, reflect and learn from what has been past. He doesn't find a problem in sending college age students into an urban middle school to teach music with NO GUIDANCE. He fails to see value in looking at any one of the many music outreach programs in the Boston area to learn from their successes and failures before moving forward for this one.
They've contracted me for 60 hours of work. Do you know what I could do in 60 hours? More than hire 3 teachers and find 3 schools. But, that's what they want. I pushed back one more time this morning to see if they would go for me doing some work that might help this program in the long run, not just add more schools where teachers will fail and the program will falter after a year.
Sigh. What is it that I need to learn to keep from finding myself in these jobs?
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