Beathing Deeply

In my guilt free month, here's what I've done so far and what I've learned:

Lunch with a friend: Check, check and check. Last week I actually had two different lunch dates. It is lovely to reconnect with people and feel like you are a part of things again. It is something to work at as it isn't easy to schedule when my time is limited, but is very worth it. Kat and I have picked a day to get together too, though we haven't decided exactly what, yet.

Engage in activities that give me joy:
I've done yoga several times this week at home. A class continues to be problematic, so I'm on the hunt for one to just try out. I've sung a bit, but my March cold hit me hard and I still have a dry cough and vocal cords that show the results. This weekend I've got a lesson scheduled and from there will decide whether or not to go to the Laryngologist to be looked at. I've also been doing some of the Artist's Way, and have found it helpful - mostly morning pages at this point and the first chapter of the book. My resolution to perform this year is coming along a bit as I've identified some music I want to sing and have some other stuff to look through with the pianist once I get my voice up and running again.

Schedule time for girly upkeep.
Done. Went to get my eyebrows done and scheduled a follow up for this month. I know I need to get my haircut too since I can't remember the last time I did that, but I'm going to wait until I'm done teaching and have time during the week to go.

Try something new:
I've tried several new recipes, but I realize what I really meant by the try something new thing was to do something by myself that is new. So that still has yet to happen. Maybe it will be a yoga class and I'll kill two birds with one stone?

Have a date night at least once:
We did that this past weekend with a night out for Sushi (first one since Barf Fest Nov '10 the night before which Sushi was consumed by the Hubs and he hasn't been able to touch it since). It was so nice to sit with a glass of wine, out in public and dine with no child around. We then went to hear a symphony play and ended the night by walking through the Pru and stopped in the BodyShop where I got some Shea butter lotion to try and calm my ridiculously dry, awful skin.

Technically we have another date night this coming week because it is parent's night at the Shorty's daycare and I tacked an hour on to the request to the sitter so we can go get a drink after. And we already have one for May because my inlaws offered us their Symphony tickets to hear Berlioz's Romeo and Juliet.

All in all it has been a pretty good month. There's a lot of change looming on the horizon, but I hope it will come to fruition soon as we feel ready to move on. I'm done teaching in about 2 weeks and will take the remainder of May to unwind and then teach summer students through to August (unless we are moving). In the fall I've been offered a job at Wellesley teaching for one semester and I'm excited to do that. It will add one day on to my two days of teaching at Harvard and could lead to good things, my instincts tell me. The issue of the second child is also up for debate, but we need to solidify some other things first.

In terms of last month's things, I've kept up and the kiddo has been sleeping better so that has helped (save for this last week's bad cold/teeth). I've been reading (just finished The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind, exercising as I can - Jillian Michael's 30 day shred, run a mile, go to the gym, we've been out of the house a lot and it is all good! I also got a pill organizer (hello, I'm an 80 year old woman) and put in my multivitamin, calcium, Vit D, and Flax so I have a better shot at remembering to take them. So far so good for 3 out of 4 days. I've also been meditating and find it makes an amazing difference. If done at lunch on a work day, the afternoon goes so much better. If done in the morning before being home with the Shorty, the day is far more enjoyable.

Woah

I found myself doing a little math over the weekend.

On Friday I went to meet with a woman who talked with me about a possible job. I really liked her and think, in many ways, she could be a fabulous boss and mentor for me as I walk through this next part of my life.

Here's where the math comes in. The job is full time and when I calculated the cost of having two children in daycare while I worked full time, I arrived at the shocking figure of $42,000 dollars per year. G.U.L.P.

Overall, I don't want to be working full time while we have young children and who knows if we'll have a second, but that is the general plan and it will likely happen sometime in the next year, otherwise my ovaries will be shrunken and gone. I have to make some calls to other daycare centers in towns we may move to, to see if their costs are any lower, but I'm guessing they aren't by a significant enough margin. Sooooooo, that pretty much puts that particular job in the 'no' category.

Put yer own oxygen mask on first

That is the subject of this month's happiness project and by April 30, I hope to add a tag line of "how I got over feeling guilty".

Happy wife, happy life, they say or happy mommy, happy baby. Yet, when I think about doing things for myself, I often shy away because I feel guilty - for asking for time away, for spending money on a non-necessity etc etc. When I do finally have time to myself I feel like I should rush through it so I can get back home where I have responsibilities.

So, if I imagined a guilt free world, here's what it would look like and I'll attempt this for the month of April.

Have lunch once a week with a friend - I started this one a week early by seeing my friend Julie and loved catching up with her. I'll add to this one to get together and do something fun with Kat once this month.

Engage in activities that give me joy no matter how long it has been since I've done them or when I'll get to do them again: Try different yoga classes and teachers. Sing something every week.
I've always been someone who sticks with what they know, yet I love trying and learning new things. Stepping out of my self constructed box and trying new things in this world could mean: taking a hot yoga class (so I might throw up, who cares?), trying a yin yoga class or a vinyasa class. Singing has been a challenge usually due to time but of late because of illness and the length of time it is taking me to get healthy. Hopefully I'm on the upswing and will be capable of vocalizing this month.

Schedule time for those girly upkeep things like haircuts and eyebrows.
I always feel guilty asking for time on the weekends, but am then miserable when I don't do anything or get some time alone. Perhaps if I put those items on the calendar they will happen and I won't feel badly about them.

Try out something totally new.
Maybe it is a concert, or listening to a new kind of music, going to the rock climbing gym, making a new recipe or doing a class. Who knows, just try it.

Have date night at least once this month.
Most nights during the week we see each other for some length of time, but it is brief and not devoted to each other and involves things like bathing the child, cleaning up the kitchen or sitting comatose in front of the tube. So time doing something we enjoy is a good way to reconnect and is something that has to be prioritized or it won't happen.