Much to everyone's delight we started the shorty on solid foods three weeks ago. She ate rice cereal with reckless abandon for the first week. We moved onto green beans after being told by friend Elisabeth, pediatrician extraordinaire, to do green first or they'll only ever eat sweet things as babies. Um, green beans are gross. The smell alone sent me back to my childhood days eating the crap food served in the dining hall at White Mountain School. I have a strong memory of the smell of the yellow wax beans that came out of a can and appeared randomly on our plates and this was that smell. I couldn't blame her for not liking them.
The downside of solid foods in the increasingly irregularity of her poop. I know, I'm talking about my child's bowels on the interwebs, but for those of you who don't have kids, poop is an all consuming subject. I mean, we already talked a fair bit about trips to the 'office' in our household before the baby arrived. Now it is like over the top. God forbid we ever go somewhere where we need to act like civilized human beings. We're screwed.
She was fine the first week and then the second week went for 4 days without pooping. That's a lotta food in and nothing out. When the situation resolved itself I just about fell over. I have never seen such a diaper full of, well, poopy nastiness. It was like poop peanut butter. Seriously.
Are you still reading, cause I know this is gross? She then pooped just fine for 3 days and then stopped. For five. I busted out the prunes. She gobbled those suckers up. 3 days of prunes. No poop. This morning we broke out peaches - all P foods are helpful to the system, except peas, which bind.
It was no secret there was poop in there. The grunting straining while she had her bottle last night accompanied by the red-faced, my-head-might-explode looks kinda gave it away. Not to mention the farts. Oh. My. God. The farts. I thought my childhood dog Rigby had perhaps been reincarnated as my child. That dog could clear a table with his farts. Sadly, I could go no where as she nursed and tooted away. Fortunately, once again, magic mobile did the trick.
For some reason this kid is happy to poop in her drawers when she watches her mobile. I don't know why, but anytime there's been a poop issue, we put her there and thar she blows. So, the situation, on day 5 of poop watch, came to a close with another hideously poopy diaper that ALMOST went up her back.
I know it probably only gets worse from here. I'm steeling myself for the year and 7 months ahead of diapers and already counting down to potty training.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Focus on What You Can Do
After my downer post of Friday night, I went to yoga Saturday morning. It couldn't have been a better thing for me to do. It was taught by a woman I've been to a few times, who works with Barbara and I love her teaching. The classes are relaxing and she has a gentle approach that is underlaid with challenge and resolve. I knew it would be 'attainable' for me - in other words not too hard and still enjoyable.
She started the class off by reminding us to focus on what we could do not what we couldn't when approaching individual poses. It was just what I needed to hear. I left the class feeling refreshed and as though I had gone to the church of my choosing. The spiritual side of yoga is as important to me as the physical. It was so nice to do poses as she talked about elements of the yoga sutra. I felt connected again.
I've held onto her advice about focusing on what we can do as I've approached this week. Especially as I've thought about my body. I have healed most of the diastisis and have started to do the exercises again I know work best - something I can do. Though I had begun going to the gym before the two week illness that sidelined me hit, it is now nicer weather and many days I can walk outside, or at the mall as I did yesterday (almots 3 miles!!). There is also a jogging stroller in Maine that will hopefully come to live with us soon. Ella will be big enough to go in it and I can experiment with working back up to running.
Mostly, I've tried to remind myself that I can choose how I approach things and can choose my attitude. I'm trying to make good choices and focus on what I can do whether it be about a personal interest project (I started sewing a quilt as a baby present for a long time friend of Ben's who had a little boy), my professional life (I've started working on my CV and putting together a proposal for a job that I'd like to have created for me at MGH) or even things around the house (I try not to focus on what didn't get done, but on what I can do each day).
The best thing is this Saturday is also spring break and therefore I can go back to yoga class.
She started the class off by reminding us to focus on what we could do not what we couldn't when approaching individual poses. It was just what I needed to hear. I left the class feeling refreshed and as though I had gone to the church of my choosing. The spiritual side of yoga is as important to me as the physical. It was so nice to do poses as she talked about elements of the yoga sutra. I felt connected again.
I've held onto her advice about focusing on what we can do as I've approached this week. Especially as I've thought about my body. I have healed most of the diastisis and have started to do the exercises again I know work best - something I can do. Though I had begun going to the gym before the two week illness that sidelined me hit, it is now nicer weather and many days I can walk outside, or at the mall as I did yesterday (almots 3 miles!!). There is also a jogging stroller in Maine that will hopefully come to live with us soon. Ella will be big enough to go in it and I can experiment with working back up to running.
Mostly, I've tried to remind myself that I can choose how I approach things and can choose my attitude. I'm trying to make good choices and focus on what I can do whether it be about a personal interest project (I started sewing a quilt as a baby present for a long time friend of Ben's who had a little boy), my professional life (I've started working on my CV and putting together a proposal for a job that I'd like to have created for me at MGH) or even things around the house (I try not to focus on what didn't get done, but on what I can do each day).
The best thing is this Saturday is also spring break and therefore I can go back to yoga class.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Gotta Go There
I don't like this, but the reality is, I hate the changes that have happened to my body as a result of being pregnant. I realize the reward of having a child is the lens through which to look at these changes, but it is hard.
For one, my feet. They swelled a bit at the end of the pregnancy, but courtesy of the relaxin hormone, they also spread. Now none of my old shoes fit and I'm needing to replace them. I've delayed doing it and as a result I have several toes that hurt pretty badly. My feet are also very painful to walk on when I get up in the night to go to Miss Ella and feed her - I'm not sure what the source of that pain is. Now isn't really the time when I feel like we have a bunch of expendable income to spend on a new wardrobe of shoes for me.
My boobs. Because of nursing I know they are headed south to begin with and probably will eventually shrink to smaller than what they were before being pregnant. I've watched it happen to other friends and it will probably happen to me. Not to mention that my personal nipple mauler leaves them hurting 7 times a day.
My abs. I have the abdominal diastisis that happens to many women when pregnant. Your rectus abdominis separates when the size of the uterus gets so big that it pushes the two halves apart. The problem is the two halves don't like to go back together so you end up with a poochy belly. I've got pooch. It pooches most around your belly button. Check, got that too. I did the exercises I was supposed to do after giving birth and do my usual set of crunches, but I just read something about how those crunches can exacerbate the problem (how many times can I use the word exacerbate in one post? So far, 3, apparently.). So will I have a 'mummy tummy' forever? Sigh.
My lady bits. Let's just say that they've healed but not really healed. It isn't comfortable and who knows when it is going to get better.
My overall fitness level is in the toilet. Things jiggle like they t'ain't never jiggled before and I hate that feeling. I am so tired and have so little time that figuring out how to get back into shape seems insurmountable at times. Just walking isn't going to cut it. The occasional knee pain that I felt prepregnancy has also been exacerbated after carrying 40 extra pounds and having my gait alter. Sometimes my knee is fine and other times it is so painful I step and grimace. Will I be able to run again? I'm afraid to start when I'm this out of shape as I know a portion of my knee issue is muscle strength/balance related.
I have to admit, accepting that I'm not ever going to have my pre-pregnancy body back makes me feel like total poo. I liked my body a lot before. I was comfortable in my own skin. Now, not so much. I want back what I had before and don't know if it is possible, let alone how to get there.
Okay, enough of my little Friday night black cloud. I'm going to bed.
For one, my feet. They swelled a bit at the end of the pregnancy, but courtesy of the relaxin hormone, they also spread. Now none of my old shoes fit and I'm needing to replace them. I've delayed doing it and as a result I have several toes that hurt pretty badly. My feet are also very painful to walk on when I get up in the night to go to Miss Ella and feed her - I'm not sure what the source of that pain is. Now isn't really the time when I feel like we have a bunch of expendable income to spend on a new wardrobe of shoes for me.
My boobs. Because of nursing I know they are headed south to begin with and probably will eventually shrink to smaller than what they were before being pregnant. I've watched it happen to other friends and it will probably happen to me. Not to mention that my personal nipple mauler leaves them hurting 7 times a day.
My abs. I have the abdominal diastisis that happens to many women when pregnant. Your rectus abdominis separates when the size of the uterus gets so big that it pushes the two halves apart. The problem is the two halves don't like to go back together so you end up with a poochy belly. I've got pooch. It pooches most around your belly button. Check, got that too. I did the exercises I was supposed to do after giving birth and do my usual set of crunches, but I just read something about how those crunches can exacerbate the problem (how many times can I use the word exacerbate in one post? So far, 3, apparently.). So will I have a 'mummy tummy' forever? Sigh.
My lady bits. Let's just say that they've healed but not really healed. It isn't comfortable and who knows when it is going to get better.
My overall fitness level is in the toilet. Things jiggle like they t'ain't never jiggled before and I hate that feeling. I am so tired and have so little time that figuring out how to get back into shape seems insurmountable at times. Just walking isn't going to cut it. The occasional knee pain that I felt prepregnancy has also been exacerbated after carrying 40 extra pounds and having my gait alter. Sometimes my knee is fine and other times it is so painful I step and grimace. Will I be able to run again? I'm afraid to start when I'm this out of shape as I know a portion of my knee issue is muscle strength/balance related.
I have to admit, accepting that I'm not ever going to have my pre-pregnancy body back makes me feel like total poo. I liked my body a lot before. I was comfortable in my own skin. Now, not so much. I want back what I had before and don't know if it is possible, let alone how to get there.
Okay, enough of my little Friday night black cloud. I'm going to bed.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Wherein my marriage is laid plain
We decided that the exchange we had last night pretty much sums up our marriage:
Scene - while watching the Oscars, Ben sees Maggie Gyllenhal and her husband Peter Saarsgard and asks me if they are a couple to which I say, yes.
He says, "Huh."
I say, "It's a good thing you have me around."
He says, "I wouldn't have it any other way."
I say, "Did you fart?"
And life just continues on here.
Scene - while watching the Oscars, Ben sees Maggie Gyllenhal and her husband Peter Saarsgard and asks me if they are a couple to which I say, yes.
He says, "Huh."
I say, "It's a good thing you have me around."
He says, "I wouldn't have it any other way."
I say, "Did you fart?"
And life just continues on here.
Monday, March 1, 2010
This sums it up
Recently, I've given a lot of thought to what makes somewhere the right fit for me job-wise. I felt a huge window open in the Universe when I gave my notice for my Choral Administrator job. I am happy to be only teaching at this point, but on more than one occasion, I've wondered if teaching at Harvard is really the right thing for me.
The Harvard Magazine just came out and this article really hit home about why this particular school isn't a good fit for me. To save you from reading it (unless you are super interested), the title is "Nonstop" and it goes on to document how Harvard students do too many extracurricular activities in an attempt to build their resume and be the best person they can be. The article touches on the movement of our society towards this über-busy-ness and how parents often begin their child's life by over scheduling them into too many extracurricular events in an attempt to get them into the pinnacle school....Harvard...where the cycle continues. While I have met my share of extraordinary students at Harvard, there is one message that never seems to get across to the students - you might actually have something to learn. If they audition for a singing group and don't get in, they go out and found their own. I know, I know, that's how empires were built, but sometimes, when you get the message of no, the right tactic isn't to plow forward and just make your own way, it is to drop back and see where you need to shore up your sides. Okay, now that I've probably wrongly mixed too many badly worded metaphors, I'll go back to my initial point with this blog entry..
There are those of you out there who are currently rolling your eyes and saying "Uh, Sarah, you are just like that." You wouldn't be entirely wrong, but one thing I think I've learned at least on the intellectual level is that there is such a thing as being too busy. You can have too many things on your plate and the end result is always the same; too much stress, too little sleep, fatigue, burn out and the awful feeling of being stretched too thin. Most of this lesson I've learned from yoga where so much of the practice is meant to encourage being focused in the moment. Being present to life means you actually experience it and can actually say whether you are enjoying it or not, and not just wanting to get through it so you can get to the 19 other things awaiting you.
And, as with most things in life, it is easiest to see your own shortcomings in others. So, I observe this in my students. I see how constantly harried they are. I watch as they get cold after cold, stay up all night long and then wonder why in their voice lessons they can't sing as well, come to their lessons without music because they haven't had time to find it and even if they had, they won't have practiced because there isn't time.
I've realized that there is value for me as a teacher in working at a place where singing isn't necessarily the only thing a student is doing, but it is a top priority. They would take lessons for credit and to progress you have a jury where pieces are to be memorized and performed. I have a desire to do less in life and find it difficult to spend my work time in a place where that is never encouraged.
If I continue in teaching, I'd like to switch to a school where students actually experience life rather than live it as a means to and end of building their resume for whatever next great opportunity comes along next.
The Harvard Magazine just came out and this article really hit home about why this particular school isn't a good fit for me. To save you from reading it (unless you are super interested), the title is "Nonstop" and it goes on to document how Harvard students do too many extracurricular activities in an attempt to build their resume and be the best person they can be. The article touches on the movement of our society towards this über-busy-ness and how parents often begin their child's life by over scheduling them into too many extracurricular events in an attempt to get them into the pinnacle school....Harvard...where the cycle continues. While I have met my share of extraordinary students at Harvard, there is one message that never seems to get across to the students - you might actually have something to learn. If they audition for a singing group and don't get in, they go out and found their own. I know, I know, that's how empires were built, but sometimes, when you get the message of no, the right tactic isn't to plow forward and just make your own way, it is to drop back and see where you need to shore up your sides. Okay, now that I've probably wrongly mixed too many badly worded metaphors, I'll go back to my initial point with this blog entry..
There are those of you out there who are currently rolling your eyes and saying "Uh, Sarah, you are just like that." You wouldn't be entirely wrong, but one thing I think I've learned at least on the intellectual level is that there is such a thing as being too busy. You can have too many things on your plate and the end result is always the same; too much stress, too little sleep, fatigue, burn out and the awful feeling of being stretched too thin. Most of this lesson I've learned from yoga where so much of the practice is meant to encourage being focused in the moment. Being present to life means you actually experience it and can actually say whether you are enjoying it or not, and not just wanting to get through it so you can get to the 19 other things awaiting you.
And, as with most things in life, it is easiest to see your own shortcomings in others. So, I observe this in my students. I see how constantly harried they are. I watch as they get cold after cold, stay up all night long and then wonder why in their voice lessons they can't sing as well, come to their lessons without music because they haven't had time to find it and even if they had, they won't have practiced because there isn't time.
I've realized that there is value for me as a teacher in working at a place where singing isn't necessarily the only thing a student is doing, but it is a top priority. They would take lessons for credit and to progress you have a jury where pieces are to be memorized and performed. I have a desire to do less in life and find it difficult to spend my work time in a place where that is never encouraged.
If I continue in teaching, I'd like to switch to a school where students actually experience life rather than live it as a means to and end of building their resume for whatever next great opportunity comes along next.
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