It is the end of month one, ENERGY month. Here's the roundup of it went:
**Instead of ...cleaning up...organizing...doing data entry...watching tv...doing laundry, LIE DOWN and try to nap.** I did this a few times. Twice I napped and once I just lay down for a while. In general, the Shorty has slept better so I've been able to sleep through the night as well and my need for napping has been less. An off shoot of this was the decision to watch much less television. While home on maternity leave I got used to DVRing a bunch of shows so I'd have something to do while the little one slept or nursed, but that habit continued. I don't need it and don't want it anymore, so it has gone away.
**Always have a good book to read**
This has been a resounding success. I've read four books and am most of the way through another. What I've read: THE ISLAND, SUPER RICH, A DISCOVERY OF WITCHES, POSER and am almost done with MOMMA ZEN. I do so love getting lost in a good story, so three of the books provided that. The other two have been food for thought, so to speak.
**Go to bed when you are tired, no matter what time it is**
This is hard, but not for the reasons I initially thought. It just takes time to do stuff at night. Get organized, get the Shorty's lunch together, have dinner, talk with the Hubs, return emails, calls etc. Some nights I've turned in 15 minutes early, but again, with the better night's sleep, I don't feel as though I need to go to bed earlier.
**Get out of the house every day**
This has also been a success. Nicer weather helps to facilitate, so did a week in Florida. Just this week on Monday we went to a play space from 10-11 and then for a walk up to the library at 2, and back by way of having a snack at the local coffee shop. Nicer weather is just the best.
**On the subject of eating:
Return to a low sugar diet
Return to eating minimal processed foods
Take time to get something healthy - walk all the way past the pantry to the refrigerator
Drink enough water and start the day with a glass of warm water**
My diet is lower sugar, but not no sugar as it was in the past. I've worked hard to drink more water and often succeed. I've tried to plan a good balance of vegetarian and non-vegetarian meals and have leftovers for lunch - I love a substantial lunch and sandwiches have never been my favorite. I would say I'm more aware of the choices I'm making which is good.
**On the topic of exercise:
Walk instead of drive
Go to the gym when I can
Go to a yoga class every week
Fit in a few days a week of home yoga practice**
I have walked places when I can. The gym continues to be a challenge. There's one day of the week and one day of the weekend when I know I can go. Once the weather is good enough to be out on the days I'm home, I won't care as much. I have found a yoga class and have gone several times on the weeks we are home. One big realization was that the time I have free is after Ella goes to bed. I'm trying to incorporate yoga and meditation into my daily life and that's the time it is apt to have to happen. So we'll see if I can do it.
**Act like I have more energy**
There were definitely moments that I needed to do this and tried.
Overall, this month was as much about consciousness raising as anything. I've taken to adopting mantras on various occasions. The one in the title was today's, in reaction to what I read in Momma Zen and it was the focus of my meditation at lunch. I feel as though I have become an observer of myself and am frequently present enough to be aware of what I'm saying and how I could choose another path.
So that's that. Up next, Putting My Own Oxygen Mask On First.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Avidya
As usual, yoga journal has offered me an illuminating moment.
This month's wisdom column by Sally Kempton called "Who do you think you are" addresses the idea that we all have perceptions of who we are that actually limit us. Avidya is the yogic term for a basic ignorance about who we are and it makes us believe that the way we think or feel is reality. However, Kempton points out, we can step aside from those perceptions, see past them and liberate ourselves.
For me, this spoke so directly to my experience of motherhood. Having a child suddenly thrust me into this place of wondering who I was. The way I had identified myself in the past - professional, athletic, singer were all labels that no longer held up. I was not working full time. I was not exercising regularly and I wasn't singing. What I was, was miserable. When I couldn't fit myself into my previously held labels I struggled. I floundered and I felt like I had lost myself.
It all peaked for me in January of this year when I was stuck inside due to snow and illness. My semester of teaching was start and stop at best, there was no way to get out to go for even a short walk and I was mis.er.a.ble. I had so many moments of thinking I wanted to leave my life. Just walk out the door and go somewhere. I really have no idea where it was I thought I'd go, but in my mind, there was somewhere lovely and warm where I could sleep soundly, do whatever I wanted for days on end and not have a child who was unendingly needy and clingy while going through whatever illness, teething and whatnot.
That month was what brought me to knowing I needed to address all of the changes of the last two years and the backlash I was experiencing. Who would have ever thought that good fortune could cause misery? Okay, some of you could have told me that, I'm sure, but it certainly caught me by surprise.
It lead me to the happiness project. My project is largely informed by yoga and this article helps me to understand why. I can change all of the exteriors in my life, but it is what is on the inside that makes us happy or not. Making changes to places that are not working is important, but it isn't going to bring you lasting happiness, as I understand it.
So, as long as I hold onto the labels that 'helped' me in the past, I'm going to come up short. True Vidya is wisdom (and the opposite of Avidya). It is the moment when we realize we are connected to everything around us, that who we are is a divine spirit, not these earthly labels that do nothing but box us in. We are so much more than we believe ourselves to be.
Recognizing the Avidya is the first step. I have had many moments in month one of the happiness project where I feel as though I'm standing aside observing myself. "Really," I'll wonder, do you need to get short fused over the Shorty's crying? You could choose to react differently." Or in an interaction with the Hubs, I'll find myself thinking "you know, that wasn't the most charitable response, you can do better than that." It has been interesting to say the least.
I've been meditating at least 5 days a week and some days are more enlightening than others (I still fall asleep sometimes with the lunchtime meditation). One day I came out of meditation realizing that I have in no way recognized what a powerful person I am, that I am so much more capable than I give myself credit for. When I shared this at the dinner table, the Hubs responded "that's what I've been trying to tell you."
Another suggestion Kempton makes in the article is that the thoughts you have in your head when you first wake up shape how your day is going to go. So, when I awaken, rather than turning to how tired I feel, I think "I'm going to have a great day" or try to put some energy into being grateful for the sleep I did get.
I know my patterns of 37 years aren't going to go quietly into that good night, but I think the recognitions I've made are a major step forward. Through recognizing my avidya, I can begin to be aware, make some small changes and when I ask the question, "What is the real source of happiness?" I suspect the answer will be different than it ever was in the past.
This month's wisdom column by Sally Kempton called "Who do you think you are" addresses the idea that we all have perceptions of who we are that actually limit us. Avidya is the yogic term for a basic ignorance about who we are and it makes us believe that the way we think or feel is reality. However, Kempton points out, we can step aside from those perceptions, see past them and liberate ourselves.
For me, this spoke so directly to my experience of motherhood. Having a child suddenly thrust me into this place of wondering who I was. The way I had identified myself in the past - professional, athletic, singer were all labels that no longer held up. I was not working full time. I was not exercising regularly and I wasn't singing. What I was, was miserable. When I couldn't fit myself into my previously held labels I struggled. I floundered and I felt like I had lost myself.
It all peaked for me in January of this year when I was stuck inside due to snow and illness. My semester of teaching was start and stop at best, there was no way to get out to go for even a short walk and I was mis.er.a.ble. I had so many moments of thinking I wanted to leave my life. Just walk out the door and go somewhere. I really have no idea where it was I thought I'd go, but in my mind, there was somewhere lovely and warm where I could sleep soundly, do whatever I wanted for days on end and not have a child who was unendingly needy and clingy while going through whatever illness, teething and whatnot.
That month was what brought me to knowing I needed to address all of the changes of the last two years and the backlash I was experiencing. Who would have ever thought that good fortune could cause misery? Okay, some of you could have told me that, I'm sure, but it certainly caught me by surprise.
It lead me to the happiness project. My project is largely informed by yoga and this article helps me to understand why. I can change all of the exteriors in my life, but it is what is on the inside that makes us happy or not. Making changes to places that are not working is important, but it isn't going to bring you lasting happiness, as I understand it.
So, as long as I hold onto the labels that 'helped' me in the past, I'm going to come up short. True Vidya is wisdom (and the opposite of Avidya). It is the moment when we realize we are connected to everything around us, that who we are is a divine spirit, not these earthly labels that do nothing but box us in. We are so much more than we believe ourselves to be.
Recognizing the Avidya is the first step. I have had many moments in month one of the happiness project where I feel as though I'm standing aside observing myself. "Really," I'll wonder, do you need to get short fused over the Shorty's crying? You could choose to react differently." Or in an interaction with the Hubs, I'll find myself thinking "you know, that wasn't the most charitable response, you can do better than that." It has been interesting to say the least.
I've been meditating at least 5 days a week and some days are more enlightening than others (I still fall asleep sometimes with the lunchtime meditation). One day I came out of meditation realizing that I have in no way recognized what a powerful person I am, that I am so much more capable than I give myself credit for. When I shared this at the dinner table, the Hubs responded "that's what I've been trying to tell you."
Another suggestion Kempton makes in the article is that the thoughts you have in your head when you first wake up shape how your day is going to go. So, when I awaken, rather than turning to how tired I feel, I think "I'm going to have a great day" or try to put some energy into being grateful for the sleep I did get.
I know my patterns of 37 years aren't going to go quietly into that good night, but I think the recognitions I've made are a major step forward. Through recognizing my avidya, I can begin to be aware, make some small changes and when I ask the question, "What is the real source of happiness?" I suspect the answer will be different than it ever was in the past.
Monday, March 21, 2011
When the student is ready the teacher appears
As the happiness project moves forward, several interesting things have happened. I've started to see several things over and over again - which tells me first to pay attention and second, that I'm ready for the information that is coming my way.
On three different occasions I've encountered articles and books that talk about meditation and mantra. Each of them encourage using meditation as a way of clearing out the inner gunk that gets in the way of genuine happiness, which lives inside of all of us. A few have suggested mantra as a way of flipping negative thinking on its head and reframing into something positive.
So, I've decided to try incorporating meditation into my day. I've realized that doing things in the morning as I'd like is unlikely, but I do have hours at night after the Shorty is in bed. So, as of right now, I'm going to curtail activities at 9pm and spend time doing yoga and meditation in my last hour before bed.
I've also tried out a few mantras - while on vacation, my mantra was "I don't care, I'm on vacation" - that helped when the Shorty woke up with a fever on the day we left and proceeded to have a major cold and conjunctivitis that she passed on to me. In terms of regular life, I frequently chant "I love my job and have a boss I respect and admire" and "we live in a home we love that we own."
In my surfing around online I found a book that I'm about to start reading called "Momma Zen, walking the crooked path of motherhood", the summary for the book really resonated and, frankly, I could use a little more zen, particularly in the 5pm-7pm range of life.
So, that's the scoop. I'm feeling a bit more energetic after a week in the warm sun and being able to be outside daily since being home. The kiddo is in a good sleep phase of 7pm-7am and so am I!
On three different occasions I've encountered articles and books that talk about meditation and mantra. Each of them encourage using meditation as a way of clearing out the inner gunk that gets in the way of genuine happiness, which lives inside of all of us. A few have suggested mantra as a way of flipping negative thinking on its head and reframing into something positive.
So, I've decided to try incorporating meditation into my day. I've realized that doing things in the morning as I'd like is unlikely, but I do have hours at night after the Shorty is in bed. So, as of right now, I'm going to curtail activities at 9pm and spend time doing yoga and meditation in my last hour before bed.
I've also tried out a few mantras - while on vacation, my mantra was "I don't care, I'm on vacation" - that helped when the Shorty woke up with a fever on the day we left and proceeded to have a major cold and conjunctivitis that she passed on to me. In terms of regular life, I frequently chant "I love my job and have a boss I respect and admire" and "we live in a home we love that we own."
In my surfing around online I found a book that I'm about to start reading called "Momma Zen, walking the crooked path of motherhood", the summary for the book really resonated and, frankly, I could use a little more zen, particularly in the 5pm-7pm range of life.
So, that's the scoop. I'm feeling a bit more energetic after a week in the warm sun and being able to be outside daily since being home. The kiddo is in a good sleep phase of 7pm-7am and so am I!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Week 1
It is the end of week one of my energy portion of the happiness project. I decided that the first week of every month is going to be about observing to really see my behavior and then the following 3 weeks will be about trying to modify things.
I'm happy to say I napped twice. I'm sorry to say that the naps were more necessary than I wished due to not having a single night of uninterrupted sleep during the week. Last night was the best night when I got to sleep from about 10:15pm-5am AND I napped from 12-1 in the afternoon today. I have energy tonight in a way I don't usually. Really, I need about 8 hours of sleep and even on one of the Shorty's good nights I end up about an hour short. I did really pay attention to how I felt and am more convinced than ever of the effect not enough sleep has on me = go to very dark, yucky emotional place when undercooked sleep-wise.
I haven't had a book to read this week, but I did put one down that I started and didn't like which was not what I would have done in the past. I have a request from the library to pick up and will also get a few books to take on vacation with me.
In terms of getting out of the house, Friday was staring me down like a wide open sink hole. I was exhausted but knew hanging around inside would just suck me down further so we piled in the car and went to NH to visit my mom. It was the perfect way to spend the day. It was even nice enough to walk outside - two wins!
Eating. Ah, eating. I can really see now how in the habit I am of grabbing crackers as a snack. I've worked at getting fruit out of the plastic grocery bags and keeping the refrigerator somewhat organized so things are reachable. I also bought Greek style yogurt which is loaded with protein and will hopefully keep me full a little longer. I've also found some possible solutions to the dinner/tantrum dilemma and at the top of the list is to leave the little bugger at daycare longer so I can get dinner prepared without someone scream crying at my feet. I still ate sugary things, but less so and definitely felt better. There's work to be done on the water consumption but it was better this week.
For exercise, I was able to walk outside several days with the kiddo and went to the gym on Tuesday morning. Thursday night I was so tired that I didn't go to yoga (was also feeling horrible from getting my period - more on that in a bit), but did do some small home practice during the week. The thought of nicer weather makes me happy. Getting in a half hour walk is enough for me. I'm not training for anything or even holding onto aspirations of being über fit at this point.
Act like I have more energy...that's a tough one. I remember my mom saying to me once "well, Sarah, one always knows where they stand with you." I'm sure that wasn't meant in an entirely nice way, but it is true. I have a hard time faking an emotion I don't feel. I did attempt cheer a few times when there was wailing in the home, but a few times I gave in and allowed my frustration to show. In general I'm trying to turn up the positive talk to silence the negativity that starts to shout when I am overtired.
One of my commandments is to identify a problem as you have a better chance of finding a solution. After having the Shorty I got an IUD. It seemed like the perfect thing. My intention was to leave it in until I wanted to get pregnant again, or not, but either way I was covered for up to 10 years. Score. Except, it has made my periods unbearable emotionally and physically. So, after suffering through this week, I realized I didn't need to keep suffering and I could just get the sucker removed. Scheduled for March 22. Done.
Another problem I identified is the child's poor sleep and the relation to frequent bouts with middle of the night starvation We eat a pretty low fat diet in this house and so does the child. So, I decided to see about incorporating some more fat into her diet, particularly at night to try and keep her little tummy a little fuller overnight. It is hard to come up with non-sugary fat heavy treats, but butter on the bread, salmon with lemon dill sauce and chocolate pudding were all added in this weekend and she slept better than she has all week.
The bed was made most days, but not every one. I did do better with doing tasks that take less than a minute - putting clothes away at night, taking the recycling out on my way to pick up, etc.
All in all it was an interesting week. On to week two.
I'm happy to say I napped twice. I'm sorry to say that the naps were more necessary than I wished due to not having a single night of uninterrupted sleep during the week. Last night was the best night when I got to sleep from about 10:15pm-5am AND I napped from 12-1 in the afternoon today. I have energy tonight in a way I don't usually. Really, I need about 8 hours of sleep and even on one of the Shorty's good nights I end up about an hour short. I did really pay attention to how I felt and am more convinced than ever of the effect not enough sleep has on me = go to very dark, yucky emotional place when undercooked sleep-wise.
I haven't had a book to read this week, but I did put one down that I started and didn't like which was not what I would have done in the past. I have a request from the library to pick up and will also get a few books to take on vacation with me.
In terms of getting out of the house, Friday was staring me down like a wide open sink hole. I was exhausted but knew hanging around inside would just suck me down further so we piled in the car and went to NH to visit my mom. It was the perfect way to spend the day. It was even nice enough to walk outside - two wins!
Eating. Ah, eating. I can really see now how in the habit I am of grabbing crackers as a snack. I've worked at getting fruit out of the plastic grocery bags and keeping the refrigerator somewhat organized so things are reachable. I also bought Greek style yogurt which is loaded with protein and will hopefully keep me full a little longer. I've also found some possible solutions to the dinner/tantrum dilemma and at the top of the list is to leave the little bugger at daycare longer so I can get dinner prepared without someone scream crying at my feet. I still ate sugary things, but less so and definitely felt better. There's work to be done on the water consumption but it was better this week.
For exercise, I was able to walk outside several days with the kiddo and went to the gym on Tuesday morning. Thursday night I was so tired that I didn't go to yoga (was also feeling horrible from getting my period - more on that in a bit), but did do some small home practice during the week. The thought of nicer weather makes me happy. Getting in a half hour walk is enough for me. I'm not training for anything or even holding onto aspirations of being über fit at this point.
Act like I have more energy...that's a tough one. I remember my mom saying to me once "well, Sarah, one always knows where they stand with you." I'm sure that wasn't meant in an entirely nice way, but it is true. I have a hard time faking an emotion I don't feel. I did attempt cheer a few times when there was wailing in the home, but a few times I gave in and allowed my frustration to show. In general I'm trying to turn up the positive talk to silence the negativity that starts to shout when I am overtired.
One of my commandments is to identify a problem as you have a better chance of finding a solution. After having the Shorty I got an IUD. It seemed like the perfect thing. My intention was to leave it in until I wanted to get pregnant again, or not, but either way I was covered for up to 10 years. Score. Except, it has made my periods unbearable emotionally and physically. So, after suffering through this week, I realized I didn't need to keep suffering and I could just get the sucker removed. Scheduled for March 22. Done.
Another problem I identified is the child's poor sleep and the relation to frequent bouts with middle of the night starvation We eat a pretty low fat diet in this house and so does the child. So, I decided to see about incorporating some more fat into her diet, particularly at night to try and keep her little tummy a little fuller overnight. It is hard to come up with non-sugary fat heavy treats, but butter on the bread, salmon with lemon dill sauce and chocolate pudding were all added in this weekend and she slept better than she has all week.
The bed was made most days, but not every one. I did do better with doing tasks that take less than a minute - putting clothes away at night, taking the recycling out on my way to pick up, etc.
All in all it was an interesting week. On to week two.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
ENERGY!
The word just needs an exclamation point at the end of it.
Month 1 is all about ENERGY! It often feels like energy is in short supply in my life these days. It has been close to two years since I had an uninterrupted night's sleep. My body grew another human being and then pushed that sucker out and has never felt quite the same. The busier I've grown, the less well I've eaten and the less time I have to exercise (side note: I feel fortunate to have returned to my pre-pregnancy weight, but for me not eating well has seldom been about gaining weight and much more about not feeling great). I can see areas of my life that feel like they suck energy rather than infusing it.
To refer back to my list of life lessons/commandments, don't let perfect be the enemy of good, I offer my first task on the energy front:
**Instead of ...cleaning up...organizing...doing data entry...watching tv...doing laundry, LIE DOWN and try to nap.**
I don't nap well, but I realize there is value in just lying down and closing one's eyes. It might lead to sleep and it might not, but at the very least you are taking a load off. It is very hard for me to be home and just do nothing when I can look around at the mess and know it needs to be cleaned up. I've always been that person that does the housework, groceries, laundry first thing on Saturday so the rest of the weekend can be enjoyed. I just am a work first, play second person. Or, I was. Now I'm a rest, relax first, work second person. The toilet won't clean itself, but I'd hazard a guess that no one else in this house cares how often it gets cleaned so I won't either.
Second task:
**Always have a good book to read**
Stories tend to invigorate me and getting lost in a good book even if just for 15 minutes is a great pick me up.
Third:
**Go to bed when you are tired, no matter what time it is**
Ten o'clock is my standard bedtime. However, when one's day occasionally begins before 5am, staying up until 10 can be torturous. I feel guilty going to bed earlier and as a result will fall asleep on the couch until roused by some sound and then haul myself off to bed, praying that brushing my teeth won't wake me up so much my body thinks it has just had a fantastic nap and be up for many, many hours.
Fourth
**Get out of the house every day**
This one came about largely in response to the extremely snowy winter we have experienced. Five snow days in Jan/early Feb left me inside all day with a toddler. To those of you without children, this is akin to a form of surreal torture. I am someone who likes to be out and about and so does the child. Together, inside for 14 waking hours is too, too much. Being inside leaves me feeling drained - see above about constantly looking at the mess and feeling as though I need to pick up. Getting out, means fresh air, seeing people, enjoying nature etc.
Fifth:
**On the subject of eating:
Return to a low sugar diet
Return to eating minimal processed foods
Take time to get something healthy - walk all the way past the pantry to the refrigerator
Drink enough water and start the day with a glass of warm water**
For many years I did all those things easily. Then, I got married and the husband brought different kinds of food into the house - sugary cereals, granola bars, ice cream - things I rarely had were around more often and I got into the habit of eating them and other things like yogurt that was high in sugar too, rather than the plain that I ate for years. I have terrible resistance, it turns out, to eating something that is just left in front of me. So I consumed that stuff. I know I don't feel as good as when I was eating actual food that didn't have white flour and added sugar. Don't get me wrong a cookie now and again is totally a girl's friend. But not every day. I also used to drink plenty of water. For almost a decade I took a drug for a heart condition that was a diuretic, so I was used to consuming at least 64 ounces and often more. I was never without my Nalgene. Then, I had a kid and often I honestly can't remember where I left the damn thing, let alone to actually drink from it. I admit that I have awakened in the middle of the night feeling nauseous because I am dehydrated.
So I've resolved to drink a glass of warm water in the morning (gets your system going, to help flush toxins out) (set out on the counter the night before so I remember) and to consume adequate water each day. I've also bought plain yogurt and am working to cut back on processed sugary foods. One thing that helps me is to eat oatmeal in the morning. When I start the day off low sugar, I don't crave it as much - so oatmeal, with a heaping tablespoon of flax seed, blueberries, walnuts and cinnamon is my breakfast of choice. I'm also getting more involved in the grocery shopping which helps me to know what food is around. I am going to exercise my minimal willpower to not just stop at the ritz cracker box and eat half a roll at 5pm in the hopes of making it to dinner at 7:30. There are fruits and vegetables that would better fit the bill and I know that.
**On the topic of exercise:
Walk instead of drive
Go to the gym when I can
Go to a yoga class every week
Fit in a few days a week of home yoga practice**
This is a tough one in the winter months. Now that weather is improving I'm hoping the Shorty and I can get out for walks on Mondays and Fridays and also walk to places like the library and post office rather than driving. The gym is a sad thing for me. I was a 6 day a week exerciser in my prior life. Now I have one week day I can go and realistically 1 day on the weekend. Like I am with cleaning, I like to get up and go in the morning, but now I hang with the Shorty in the morning when I'd rather be at the gym. I don't know that that will change anytime soon, if ever, so I need to work around it. That means going to the gym later in the day on the weekend - my conscience also likes to conserve water and I think it wasteful to shower twice in a day if I can avoid it - I know, I know, shut up conscience. Someday I hope to be able to go to the gym before work in the morning and have the hubs deal with drop off, but we're not there yet. I've found a yoga class to go to. It is a more restorative Iyengar class than I've ever done, but last Thursday I slept better than I have in a long, long time so I'll stick to it. Sunday mornings are the one morning a week I don't have to get up with the Shorty and that is a day I know I can do some yoga before opening the bedroom door and joining the family. So far I've been good about doing it.
Lastly:
**Act like I have more energy**
Fatigue makes me freaking moody. It is no secret. Too little sleep can send me to a dark place pretty fast. From Rubin's book I learned that we have something like 40% ability to control our way of being, it isn't just what we're born with. So, I'm trying to act like I have more energy and smile when I feel tired, be cheerful when I feel exhausted.
There you have it, my plan for my energy month. I'll try to post periodically to chart my progress.
Month 1 is all about ENERGY! It often feels like energy is in short supply in my life these days. It has been close to two years since I had an uninterrupted night's sleep. My body grew another human being and then pushed that sucker out and has never felt quite the same. The busier I've grown, the less well I've eaten and the less time I have to exercise (side note: I feel fortunate to have returned to my pre-pregnancy weight, but for me not eating well has seldom been about gaining weight and much more about not feeling great). I can see areas of my life that feel like they suck energy rather than infusing it.
To refer back to my list of life lessons/commandments, don't let perfect be the enemy of good, I offer my first task on the energy front:
**Instead of ...cleaning up...organizing...doing data entry...watching tv...doing laundry, LIE DOWN and try to nap.**
I don't nap well, but I realize there is value in just lying down and closing one's eyes. It might lead to sleep and it might not, but at the very least you are taking a load off. It is very hard for me to be home and just do nothing when I can look around at the mess and know it needs to be cleaned up. I've always been that person that does the housework, groceries, laundry first thing on Saturday so the rest of the weekend can be enjoyed. I just am a work first, play second person. Or, I was. Now I'm a rest, relax first, work second person. The toilet won't clean itself, but I'd hazard a guess that no one else in this house cares how often it gets cleaned so I won't either.
Second task:
**Always have a good book to read**
Stories tend to invigorate me and getting lost in a good book even if just for 15 minutes is a great pick me up.
Third:
**Go to bed when you are tired, no matter what time it is**
Ten o'clock is my standard bedtime. However, when one's day occasionally begins before 5am, staying up until 10 can be torturous. I feel guilty going to bed earlier and as a result will fall asleep on the couch until roused by some sound and then haul myself off to bed, praying that brushing my teeth won't wake me up so much my body thinks it has just had a fantastic nap and be up for many, many hours.
Fourth
**Get out of the house every day**
This one came about largely in response to the extremely snowy winter we have experienced. Five snow days in Jan/early Feb left me inside all day with a toddler. To those of you without children, this is akin to a form of surreal torture. I am someone who likes to be out and about and so does the child. Together, inside for 14 waking hours is too, too much. Being inside leaves me feeling drained - see above about constantly looking at the mess and feeling as though I need to pick up. Getting out, means fresh air, seeing people, enjoying nature etc.
Fifth:
**On the subject of eating:
Return to a low sugar diet
Return to eating minimal processed foods
Take time to get something healthy - walk all the way past the pantry to the refrigerator
Drink enough water and start the day with a glass of warm water**
For many years I did all those things easily. Then, I got married and the husband brought different kinds of food into the house - sugary cereals, granola bars, ice cream - things I rarely had were around more often and I got into the habit of eating them and other things like yogurt that was high in sugar too, rather than the plain that I ate for years. I have terrible resistance, it turns out, to eating something that is just left in front of me. So I consumed that stuff. I know I don't feel as good as when I was eating actual food that didn't have white flour and added sugar. Don't get me wrong a cookie now and again is totally a girl's friend. But not every day. I also used to drink plenty of water. For almost a decade I took a drug for a heart condition that was a diuretic, so I was used to consuming at least 64 ounces and often more. I was never without my Nalgene. Then, I had a kid and often I honestly can't remember where I left the damn thing, let alone to actually drink from it. I admit that I have awakened in the middle of the night feeling nauseous because I am dehydrated.
So I've resolved to drink a glass of warm water in the morning (gets your system going, to help flush toxins out) (set out on the counter the night before so I remember) and to consume adequate water each day. I've also bought plain yogurt and am working to cut back on processed sugary foods. One thing that helps me is to eat oatmeal in the morning. When I start the day off low sugar, I don't crave it as much - so oatmeal, with a heaping tablespoon of flax seed, blueberries, walnuts and cinnamon is my breakfast of choice. I'm also getting more involved in the grocery shopping which helps me to know what food is around. I am going to exercise my minimal willpower to not just stop at the ritz cracker box and eat half a roll at 5pm in the hopes of making it to dinner at 7:30. There are fruits and vegetables that would better fit the bill and I know that.
**On the topic of exercise:
Walk instead of drive
Go to the gym when I can
Go to a yoga class every week
Fit in a few days a week of home yoga practice**
This is a tough one in the winter months. Now that weather is improving I'm hoping the Shorty and I can get out for walks on Mondays and Fridays and also walk to places like the library and post office rather than driving. The gym is a sad thing for me. I was a 6 day a week exerciser in my prior life. Now I have one week day I can go and realistically 1 day on the weekend. Like I am with cleaning, I like to get up and go in the morning, but now I hang with the Shorty in the morning when I'd rather be at the gym. I don't know that that will change anytime soon, if ever, so I need to work around it. That means going to the gym later in the day on the weekend - my conscience also likes to conserve water and I think it wasteful to shower twice in a day if I can avoid it - I know, I know, shut up conscience. Someday I hope to be able to go to the gym before work in the morning and have the hubs deal with drop off, but we're not there yet. I've found a yoga class to go to. It is a more restorative Iyengar class than I've ever done, but last Thursday I slept better than I have in a long, long time so I'll stick to it. Sunday mornings are the one morning a week I don't have to get up with the Shorty and that is a day I know I can do some yoga before opening the bedroom door and joining the family. So far I've been good about doing it.
Lastly:
**Act like I have more energy**
Fatigue makes me freaking moody. It is no secret. Too little sleep can send me to a dark place pretty fast. From Rubin's book I learned that we have something like 40% ability to control our way of being, it isn't just what we're born with. So, I'm trying to act like I have more energy and smile when I feel tired, be cheerful when I feel exhausted.
There you have it, my plan for my energy month. I'll try to post periodically to chart my progress.
My Happiness Project
Have you read this book - The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin? I came across it in a review and thought it sounded like something I needed to read. Yesterday. The summary is that Rubin was a regular woman who was married, had kids a job and realized she just wasn't all that happy. She set out to research and read and see if she spent a year devoting energy to being happy, she would become happier. A lot of what she wrote resonated with me. Some of it, not so much. So I took away what worked and left behind what didn't and resolved to launch my own happiness project.
Like Rubin, I've identified areas that I can explore and work on to improve my happiness. Hopefully, on the first of every month I'll update you on what my topic is and how I'm addressing it. Some of mine are stolen from her and some are my own.
Here are my 11 areas (month 12 is for putting them all together):
1. Energy
2. Put my own oxygen mask on first
3. Marriage
4. Professional Passion
5. Fun
6. Parenthood
7. Money
8. Friends
9. Conflict
10. Faith
11. Mindfulness
She also generated lists of commandments and life lessons. I liked the idea of that so here are mine:
* When someone pays you a complement, just say thank you.
*Make your bed every day.
*Don't put off a task that takes only one minute (flossing, hanging up your coat, putting clothes away at night rather than dumping them on the chair).
*Tidying up at night and preparing for the next day makes the morning oh, so much easier.
*Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.
*Allow for humanity.
* Just because you don't know what the future holds, doesn't mean things won't change.
* Identify the problem (you'll be more likely to figure out a solution).
*Don't be afraid to admit you don't know something (no one really likes a know-it-all anyway).
*My mother was right, often I am just overtired and a good night's sleep makes everything seem more manageable.
*Take time to observe and assess before attempting to make a change.
*Don't automatically assume someone is wrong just because they have a perspective that is different than yours.
So there you have it, I'll write a post about my first month's topic, Energy, shortly.
Like Rubin, I've identified areas that I can explore and work on to improve my happiness. Hopefully, on the first of every month I'll update you on what my topic is and how I'm addressing it. Some of mine are stolen from her and some are my own.
Here are my 11 areas (month 12 is for putting them all together):
1. Energy
2. Put my own oxygen mask on first
3. Marriage
4. Professional Passion
5. Fun
6. Parenthood
7. Money
8. Friends
9. Conflict
10. Faith
11. Mindfulness
She also generated lists of commandments and life lessons. I liked the idea of that so here are mine:
* When someone pays you a complement, just say thank you.
*Make your bed every day.
*Don't put off a task that takes only one minute (flossing, hanging up your coat, putting clothes away at night rather than dumping them on the chair).
*Tidying up at night and preparing for the next day makes the morning oh, so much easier.
*Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.
*Allow for humanity.
* Just because you don't know what the future holds, doesn't mean things won't change.
* Identify the problem (you'll be more likely to figure out a solution).
*Don't be afraid to admit you don't know something (no one really likes a know-it-all anyway).
*My mother was right, often I am just overtired and a good night's sleep makes everything seem more manageable.
*Take time to observe and assess before attempting to make a change.
*Don't automatically assume someone is wrong just because they have a perspective that is different than yours.
So there you have it, I'll write a post about my first month's topic, Energy, shortly.
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