It is the end of the long weekend in the Wavis household and we have survived. Seriously. We survived. What was going to be a lovely long weekend of family time, spent partly in MA, partly in ME, with TWO GRANDMOTHERS to help with the child, was spent primarily in confinement in Arlington.
Let me back up. Partway through Thanksgiving dinner, the hubs turned to me and said "I don't feel so good" Cue the vomiting. Actually, we made it home before it began, but it was like nothing I have ever heard and I'm pretty sure, like nothing he'd ever experienced. Generally the stomach flu isn't such a big deal. You feel like ass for 24 hours and then rebound. However, going into this as tired and drained as he was and as dehydrated as he was made allllllllll the difference.
A few moments after the puke fest ended, the muscle cramps set in. In his back. Like, all over his back, causing not quiet yelling to emit from his mouth. Ultimately, he requested to go to the ER. Also fine, but what do you do with a 1 year old who is sleeping peacefully in the other room? I called Grandma and she and Grandpa hauled on over to stay here. Then, I called 911. There was no way this man was going to get into an upright position and ride in a car. Truth be told, I did not want to clean puke outta my car either.
So, he got a ride in a super cool ambulance over to Mt. Auburn where we shacked up in the ER from 11pm to 5am. 3 bags of saline and 2 kinds of nausea medicine later, we returned home. The hubs went to bed and I lay down for 15 minutes before the Shorty got up for the day.
Let me say that again. I LAY DOWN FOR 15 MINUTES BEFORE THE SHORTY GOT UP FOR THE DAY. Yes, I got no sleep on Thanksgiving night. The grandparents had stayed up until 3 thinking we might be back, so they were pooped and not in a position to really come back and do anything. Fortunately, my former sister by marriage came in the afternoon to take the Shorty for 2 hours and let me get some rest. And, my mother-in-law very, very, very kindly, canceled her plans to go to ME and came by every day of the weekend to take the Shorty for some length of time so we could either rest or go do something.
My tank was feeling pretty empty going into this holiday. I hadn't really wanted to go away in part due to the work of getting ready to go, but also knowing it was going to be less than fabulous sleep for the little one and by extension me. Staying in a non-babyproofed house was also not going to lend itself to my being relaxed. However, I would have taken that over this.
So, here we are at Tuesday and back to real life. It is a blessing that only one of us got this bug and he is more or less back on his feet. There are two more weeks of teaching in the semester and then I'll have a break. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to having some days of being home while the Shorty is at daycare. I can get some Christmas shopping done, we can have a cleaner, more organized home, dinners can be made at a decent hour because I'll have time to prep in advance. I might even, GASP, take a nap once in a while. It'll only last for a month or so, but I'll take it.
I like to give thanks for things on Thanksgiving and this year, I gave thanks for survival. Never thought about that one before, but it feels like a gift to have made it through the weekend.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Round Two
For the second weekend in a row we went to a town where Ben is interviewing to scope things out, have lunch with the search committee and just get a feel for things.
What a difference this was from last weekend. It is much closer (only 40 minutes - albeit in no traffic early on a Saturday morning) than last weekend. There is an actual town with many people - 13,000 as opposed to 5,000 last weekend. There are stores and restaurants and all that located in an area sort of like the rte 9 strip, but then you leave that and enter into this lovely town where there's space between the houses and there were people out in their yards with their kids. There's a new high school being built, there are lots of horse farms and walking trails. The beach is 2 towns over. There's a fabulous Y with tennis courts and a pool.
This church also has a parsonage where we'd have to live, but again, soooo different. I totally fell in love with this house even though it will never be mine in any way. Built in the 1850's it has all kinds of charm, but has been kept updated. Lots of nice space, good storage, 4 bedrooms, 2 and a half baths, a kitchen I could totally live with in a very happy way a nice deck and backyard as well as a 2 car attached garage. I could see having parties here and having our kiddos running around all very happily.
All that said, there are still drawbacks. It is far enough from where we are that I feel somewhat fearful to leave. The house isn't in a neighborhood so easily meeting some people isn't there. My close friends are in the city and while I don't see them often, I can just call them up and meet somewhere easily. My professional life is here and my commute would become pretty long. In general, the time our family has together will alter significantly if Ben were to go back into the ministry. I don't relish not having family weekends and not seeing each other every night. We also wouldn't be buying something which is what we really want to do - having your first mortgage in your 50's is not all that appealing, frankly. I suppose we could buy either an investment property now or a retirement home, but that seems a bit more on the complicated side.
So many decisions and so much information to ingest as all of this moves forward along with a few other professional irons he has in the fire. I'm anxious to begin making my own professional changes and hope, hope, hope, we'll know something soon.
What a difference this was from last weekend. It is much closer (only 40 minutes - albeit in no traffic early on a Saturday morning) than last weekend. There is an actual town with many people - 13,000 as opposed to 5,000 last weekend. There are stores and restaurants and all that located in an area sort of like the rte 9 strip, but then you leave that and enter into this lovely town where there's space between the houses and there were people out in their yards with their kids. There's a new high school being built, there are lots of horse farms and walking trails. The beach is 2 towns over. There's a fabulous Y with tennis courts and a pool.
This church also has a parsonage where we'd have to live, but again, soooo different. I totally fell in love with this house even though it will never be mine in any way. Built in the 1850's it has all kinds of charm, but has been kept updated. Lots of nice space, good storage, 4 bedrooms, 2 and a half baths, a kitchen I could totally live with in a very happy way a nice deck and backyard as well as a 2 car attached garage. I could see having parties here and having our kiddos running around all very happily.
All that said, there are still drawbacks. It is far enough from where we are that I feel somewhat fearful to leave. The house isn't in a neighborhood so easily meeting some people isn't there. My close friends are in the city and while I don't see them often, I can just call them up and meet somewhere easily. My professional life is here and my commute would become pretty long. In general, the time our family has together will alter significantly if Ben were to go back into the ministry. I don't relish not having family weekends and not seeing each other every night. We also wouldn't be buying something which is what we really want to do - having your first mortgage in your 50's is not all that appealing, frankly. I suppose we could buy either an investment property now or a retirement home, but that seems a bit more on the complicated side.
So many decisions and so much information to ingest as all of this moves forward along with a few other professional irons he has in the fire. I'm anxious to begin making my own professional changes and hope, hope, hope, we'll know something soon.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Learning
Yesterday was a big day. We went to one of the towns where Ben has been interviewing for a ministry position for him to do a second interview, me to be taken on a tour (and I know I was being scoped out for my role as his wife) and a lunch. It was enlightening. I think we both went in thinking, okay, this is it for us, we'll love it and want to move here.
The more the day went on, the less it seemed that way to me. This place is remote. If we wanted a summer home, it would be fantastic. Quiet, removed, on the water and really, really nice. But, SMALL. And when you think about spending your years somewhere, that small is not what I want. In our lives outside work we love to try new restaurants, go to shows, hear live music, visit museums. There is none of that there. There isn't even a funky coffee shop in the center of town. There's no Trader Joes or Whole Foods closer than 45 minutes away. The parsonage was by no means our dream home. What I would do for work is very up in the air. I was told by the woman who drove me around that most moms are stay-at-home. That isn't what I want to be and I think that it could be hard to find a group of women I relate to. The school system is good which is great for Ella, but there is nothing outside of the school system to give her additional opportunities. I want her to be in a more diverse area where she can learn about the world.
So, it was a long, 7 hour day of being on and smiling and talking, but it was worth it as we left with a decision for ourselves and more knowledge about the kind of place we want to be to settle down. There are two more spots on the horizon and we'll visit one next weekend. Maybe one of them will be it, but if not, I know the right thing will come along and show itself to us. I think we are both feeling ready to make final decisions on this stuff so hopefully that means the Universe is going to cooperate and show us the final deal soon!
The more the day went on, the less it seemed that way to me. This place is remote. If we wanted a summer home, it would be fantastic. Quiet, removed, on the water and really, really nice. But, SMALL. And when you think about spending your years somewhere, that small is not what I want. In our lives outside work we love to try new restaurants, go to shows, hear live music, visit museums. There is none of that there. There isn't even a funky coffee shop in the center of town. There's no Trader Joes or Whole Foods closer than 45 minutes away. The parsonage was by no means our dream home. What I would do for work is very up in the air. I was told by the woman who drove me around that most moms are stay-at-home. That isn't what I want to be and I think that it could be hard to find a group of women I relate to. The school system is good which is great for Ella, but there is nothing outside of the school system to give her additional opportunities. I want her to be in a more diverse area where she can learn about the world.
So, it was a long, 7 hour day of being on and smiling and talking, but it was worth it as we left with a decision for ourselves and more knowledge about the kind of place we want to be to settle down. There are two more spots on the horizon and we'll visit one next weekend. Maybe one of them will be it, but if not, I know the right thing will come along and show itself to us. I think we are both feeling ready to make final decisions on this stuff so hopefully that means the Universe is going to cooperate and show us the final deal soon!
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