Homeownership

Buying a house is infinitely more stressful than getting married when pregnant or having a baby. I'm just sayin'.

All I want for Christmas

All the day-after Thanksgiving sales have started to be advertised on TV. They make me want to throw up. How people in our society have been convinced to get up at 3am to go to Walmart and buy crap is just beyond me.

Recently, I read Mountains Beyond Mountains the story of what Paul Farmer is doing in Haiti. He and his work are both mind blowing. One thing he says in the book that really stuck with me is, to paraphrase, 'for some to have more, everyone has to have less'. Simple, but the more I thought about it the more profound and true it became. I have this thought a lot when I read about the occupy wallstreet movement. If everyone who makes a lot makes a little less, that money could go to help people - not just handouts, but to educate, train and contribute to society. Most of the 99% could probably even live with less and help those who are living below the poverty line.

From reading I've done over the years in books by people like Muhammad Yunus (BANKER TO THE POOR), Nick Christof (HALF THE SKY) and Greg Mortenson (THREE CUPS OF TEA - Yeah, I know he is controversial right now, but the point of his book is true regardless of how his personal life unfolds), the general consensus seems to be this: the way out of poverty and suffering is to educate girls and train women to become workers and entrepreneurs. When women earn money they put it back into their family, spending on food and education for their children. From these books I've also gleaned that there is suffering and then there is suffering.

It is very tempting to complain about one's life. I know I get easily caught up in it, but the perspective I've gained from these books makes a little voice in my head chime in every time I start to whine about something. It says, "Sarah, stop. Your problems are so small relative to those who have real, life threatening issue to deal with. Shut up and enjoy the lovely life you lead." Or something like that. My suffering, no matter how big it seems to me is nothing compared to what women in many countries experience. They can't feed their families, or give birth safely or have potable water, or avoid gang rape. My feeling bad about not getting to the gym for 10 weeks while I'm teaching retreats to the corners of my mind a bit when I stop and think about a world bigger than just me.

When I see the black Friday ads on television I get a little mad. Why is the almightly dollar king and why are people made to think they need to stand in the freezing cold for that new Playstation, when there are people standing in the freezing cold because they don't have a home?

This year I am considering telling my family I want nothing for Christmas. It was hard enough coming up with birthday wants a few weeks ago. I need nothing and there isn't much I want either. What I would love though, is to know a woman in Rwanda could have adequate prenatal care and give birth safely. That a girl in Afghanistan could go to school and learn to read and write. That a family in Honduras had chickens to give them eggs to eat and sell.

Would anyone else go for this? I'm curious to know if others would give up their pile of Christmas presents so other total strangers could eat and drink and live life a little more safely.

If you would, here are some great organizations to consider:

Heifer International
Partners in Health
Million Moms Challenge
Room to Read

Living a Yogic Life

The start of school is upon me. I'm three weeks into teaching at Wellesley and go tonight to sign new students up at Harvard. In general I like teaching people to sing, but there have been days where I end feeling as though there is something that is just missing.

That has lead me to contemplate what else I might do. Is there something I might feel more fulfilled doing? When I assess the things I am interested in, 3 categories emerge. One is music/the voice/teaching and performing, one is arts/crafts and kids and the other is yoga/social justice/the world at large.

My life and my family, what demands there are upon me and how I want to meet the needs of my family are huge considerations when I contemplate my career. I can see ways that each category can meet those needs, whether it is through the flexibility of voice teaching or the same schedule of kiddos by teaching in a pre-school situation where I could cut, glue and craft all day long.

In thinking about yoga, I realize that it feels less important to me to work as a yoga teacher than it does to live a yogic life. But, what, exactly does that mean? Here's what I've come up with so far:

I'd like to shift back to eating a more heavily vegetarian diet.

Strive to lower my impact on the world.

Develop a regular yoga practice that includes at home and part of a studio.

Cultivate a meditation practice.

Learn to hold in my mind the tenants of yoga that I studied in my certification program so I perhaps walk through each day with a different experience.

I think all of this is about striving for balance in life and learning to recognize when balance has tipped and make the subtle shifts required to put the bubble back in the middle of the level (now I've probably mixed way too many metaphors). Maybe by attempting some of these things I'll find that the missing gap is closed.

Dear Church People

I have a thing or two to say to the people who decide how UCC job searches proceed. I get the length of time they can take. You've got a group of volunteers who all have busy lives and finding times to get everyone together can be a challenge. When you then also have to interview multiple candidates, it can easily become 9 weeks between interviews.

I wish there were some standards beyond the ones that exist. If I were in charge, there would be periodic contact with candidates between week one and week nine when you call the candidate to tell them you want to interview them again. I would add that interviewing the minister's wife is completely archaic and so not necessary.

However, what I really, really take issue with is that you expect a minister to say yes to a job WITHOUT TELLING HIM THE SALARY. That is so freaking beyond ridiculous. Not a single person on the search committee would ever agree to do a job without knowing the salary. No person should have to do that! All the minister knows is the range of pay which can be as much as a 30,000-40,000 spread.

Really, I get that ministers are supposed to be called to do the work they do. Hopefully everyone finds their calling in life and pursues it. But, no matter how much you are called, you have a family that has financial needs and you need to know what you'll be paid. Bills don't go away just because you are a minister.

So, note to thee UCC, start making job offers that come with salary offers before you waste anyone else's time.

Duly Noted

Over the weekend I made a big realization. The balance has tipped in the parenting department. I'm finally at a point where the good is outweighing the challenging. With a 20 month old I'm finally starting to feel like I enjoy this parenting thing.

I always thought I would, but then an infant dropped into my lap and dear Jaysus, it was so not fun. I can see the challenge of the twos on the horizon, but I feel like if I can hold onto the knowledge that infancy ended, so too will the terrible twos and I will again love my child and her awesomeness.

Because, let me tell you, she is all kinds of awesome. From the moment she wakes up til the second she closes her eyes to sleep at night she is a non-stop party. We sing, we dance, we paint shit, we walk a toy shopping cart loaded up with stuffed doggies up and down the street, we stalk the neighbors kitty, we go to the library and walk circles around the stacks lugging various stuffed bears, we swing at the playground for hours on end, we go for walks and proclaim "DOGGIE" at the top of our lungs for each and every dog we pass. And we talk.

Oh, do we talk. For a while it was long strings of 'huminamijigakayakabugabagiba', then slowly a 'mommy' or 'daddy' was worked on to the end of the string. Now she'll issue little phrases; 'daddy sleeping', 'mommy shoe', 'daddy work', 'mo-mo pa'ta' (more pasta), 'mo-mo peeta' (more pretzels. You name it, she two word phrases it and once in a while let's loose with a string of nonsense. Typically issued with one hand on her hip and the other wagging its pointer finger at you.

It is a hoot like you can't even imagine. I just love this little bug and her awesomeness so much. Even when she wakes me up for the day at 4 am. Even when she scream cries at my feet while I'm trying to make dinner. It is just all good.

Coupon Craze

Several people I'm connected to on Facebook have joined in with the extreme couponers and like to post the results of their shopping trips - 125 boxes of pasta for $2, a package of hair dye for $.99! - they proclaim, posting pictures of their haul.

I'm struggling to understand the value of shopping this way. I wonder if these are products they use or if they're purchasing them because they are on sale and then also need to go out and buy the things they actually need?

I've read articles where people have cleared the shelves of a Walgreens of all toilet paper just because they can get it for a penny (or something like that). Why? It seems like this concept can just create another obsessive disorder where people buy huge quantities of shit and don't know what to do with it. I guarantee none of these people are urban dwellers who live in small spaces.

There's also this thing called "greed" that keeps popping into my mind. If you are clearing shelves of items aren't you denying someone else the chance to get something that they need. Does anyone need THAT much toilet paper in their house?

It also seems like most of the grocery coupons that they brag about are for processed, crappy food. So, great, you have 900 cans of spaghettios, but you are none the healthier for it.

I dunno, the whole thing is just a bit beyond me.

Month Two Roundup

We are 5 days into May and I haven't had a chance to sit down and reflect on April's "Put your own oxygen mask on first". Did I make it to not feeling quilty about doing things? Sort of

1. Have lunch with a friend once a week
Done and done. Except for that week that I lay on the couch ridiculously ill with strep throat and conjunctivitis. But I saw people and talked and it was good.

2.Engage in activities that give me joy.
I did try some yoga OnDemand and except for the time I was sick (ok so that really stretched over almost 3 weeks) I did sing every week. I took 2 voice lessons which was also great. I went the gym when I could which was, frankly, not often enough, but we were also outside more being active which totally counts as exercise in my book.

3. Schedule girly time.
Done. got my eyebrows done and set up another appointment. My hair is being cut next week - first time since December 4 I realized earlier this week...

4. Try something totally new
Did it. I tried a few new recipes. I didn't get out and have an adventure like I'd hoped and I've realized in the past few weeks how much I miss that about my current life, but there's still time for that.

5. Have a date night once a month.
Done. We went to hear a concert and out to dinner. We also scheduled a few adult only dinners after the Shorty was in bed and that was nice to just have conversation instead of having a toddler shout 'cheers' and try to clink her sippy cup against your wine glass. We also have a date night scheduled for this coming weekend and another in the middle of the month.

So, did I do these things without feeling guilty. Sort of. I think it is far more ingrained in my nature than can be undone in one month. But, I did speak up, ask for more things I wanted and go for it a bit more. I will probably always have to be mindful of this as I move through life. It is too easy to end up doing for everyone else and not for you.

The one place I didn't succeed was setting up a time to do something fun with Kat. Our lives are just too busy and that takes way more advance planning.