It was a big old week here at the Wavis homestead. The Shorty packed up her lunchbox (along with 14 million other bags of diapers, clothing changes, sun hats, butt paste, bottles and formula) and trekked off to school. Well, daycare, but we call it school because she is learning stuff while in a place with 6 other little people all clambering for the same rattle.
We visited the day before she began and stayed for an hour. She was totally content and I felt good about the decision to send her there, regardless of how poor it is making us. Then, that night, it hit me. This whole being home and raising her is coming to an end. I was no longer going to be the sole caregiver for my little girl. When she has a boom, I won't be there to scoop her up and get her laughing again. I'll have to figure out how to get me ready and her ready and out the door with a nutritionally sound lunch that wasn't just rustled up from the fridge. It made me sad.
When the Hubs came home and announced that he was sad she was going to daycare. It made me mad. Who was he to feel that way? His life wasn't changing? He wasn't having to figure out anything new and refind his professional self in between diaper changes and nighttime wake ups.
Then I calmed down and realized he had a right to his feelings too and really, I was just needing to embrace this next change. I knew a part of me was yearning for it. It is HARD to be home all day, alone with a little one. Starting when we were would allow for some shorter days and a slow rolling start before I have to go in to school to teach was a good thing. Waiting two weeks was just delaying the inevitable and would add to the stress level in the long run.
The first day I stayed for half an hour until she seemed suitably distracted and I took off. When I picked her up that afternoon, she was on the floor, chattering away while playing with a book. She heard my voice and crawled at warp speed over to me. Yesterday, I just dropped her off and left and when I picked her up she crawled over to me but wasn't really anxious to leave. I stayed and chatted with her teachers until she sat next to me and threw her hands up in the air saying "all done" in sign and we left. Both days she did short naps but was totally over stimulated from the day and an exhausted mess by bedtime. Today, I could tell she was tired when she got up. When I dropped her off, she kind of gave me this 'there is no way you expect me to do this another day' kind of look and she burst into sobbing tears. I restrained my own tears and exited quickly, figuring they have a better shot of distracting her when I'm not around.
I've kept my cellphone close these 3 days waiting for the call to come get her because she can't stop crying, but it hasn't come. The kid is just ready for this (despite the fatigue, presumably she'll learn how to nap in a noisy environment soon). She loves being around people and has already buddied up with a little boy who is about at the same physical stage (despite being 2 months younger and about 5 pounds heavier) and the two of them crawl around together.
It is hard to believe we've made it here, but here we are. It is daycare for 3 days a week and mom and daughter days for 2. I'm hopeful that this is a good balance for everyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment